Overload
by ZRka
Summary: Being (re?)born into a world of fiction you barely remember is a lot more interesting with modern science. Engineering, physics, and biology, mixed with supernatural ninjas, and you'll obviously want to be a shinobi. fem!Semi-SI-OC (Rated T, mainly for language.) Temporary hiatus, sorry.
1. Identity Theft

**Edited 07/28/2019.**

**I like SI-OC stories. I like Naruto. Here's a fem!semi-SI-OC story for Naruto (because Naomi isn't the complete insertion of me into Naruto). Don't worry, for once have an idea of where I'm going with this, so as long as I don't lose motivation and life doesn't hate me too much you can expect somewhat regular updates. It's a bad story though. I don't expect you to like it.**

**IMPORTANT/PLEASE DON'T SKIP THIS: I don't remember all too much about Naruto's plot or world building (my main references are Narutopedia, other Naruto fanfics, and other fans of Naruto), so please correct my mistakes in terms of timeline, world building, and whatnot. Additionally, I have NO experience with most of what I'm writing, so. Internet was my best friend here. Made a bunch of estimates with the exact numbers and places and stuff too since we were never given full details.**

**TL;DR: If you can correct me on anything, feel free to do so. Guesswork was done for most of what's here.**

Chapter 1: Identity Theft

October 10. Naomi is 25 and a half, and she dies.

October 10. Hitori is born to a dying mother she never gets to know. Someone - probably a shinobi - brings her to the orphanage.

It is October 10, and I hate it.

* * *

_Меня зовут…_

_Russian to English:_

_My name is…_

* * *

My life leading up to my death was not one people ever wished to live. Regardless, it was my life, and I had always planned to make the most of it. Those plans were ruined when I found myself on my deathbed in a white room white bed white floor white sheets white walls white _white __**white**_.

I hated every second I spent there. It was horrible, the stench of sickness and cleaning agents ever so present. I could hear cars honking, people bustling about outside from the opened window in my room. The city was always loud. It's the city that never sleeps.

Like the city, I haven't slept for a while. Maybe it's been a day, or maybe two, or longer. I hadn't eaten either, too tired to while I was chained to the bed, unable to move, unable to leave.

How peculiar. I feel sleepy now. Energy is being conserved by my body, but there's not enough left to carry out essential life processes. I ask myself if I'll finally die, right here and now, knowing the answer before I even ask the question. My mouth is dry. If I could feel it, I bet my skin would be cool to the touch. It's getting harder to breathe.

I don't think my heart is beating anymore. Blood isn't circulating in my body. In approximately six minutes, on October 10, my brain cells will all die due to brain hypoxia, and I will be biologically dead.

Those six minutes may have been the most peaceful six minutes of my adult life.

In six minutes, Naomi Brennan is dead.

In six minutes (or perhaps longer, shorter, I will never know), whatever peace I have is interrupted by deafening cries and screams and blurry colors and falling falling _red red red BLOOD-_

October 10. I am born. (Reborn?)

What rotten luck I have.

* * *

If the caregivers at the orphanage were asked about Hitori, they would say she's a quiet orphan born on the same day as the Nine Tails Attack, left mysteriously in the orphanage's newborns room. She doesn't smile or laugh, and doesn't cry unless she's hungry or needs a change in diapers. She always stares, wide eyed, at anything that moves, anything that doesn't move, and sleeps a lot more than the average baby. Babbles, but only a long string of incoherent sounds. Moves a lot. Appears extremely sensitive, more so than others, to foreign movements, however she isn't against being held. Shows no attachment to anyone or anything.

Hitori is an anomaly, though the staff laughs it off as "Well, at least she'll make an excellent shinobi" and move on. Besides, ever since the Nine Tails Attack, there have been too many orphans around to care about one particular child. They're all just happy to see she isn't constantly crying, really.

* * *

_What the fuck._

My head is pounding, pain from memories that don't belong, shouldn't belong, stress building up in this little body's head ready to explode and beautiful, horrible pain-

In the span of what is guaranteed to be a handful of months, I have come to the realization that I am a baby. _A baby._

There's no way a coma or a hallucination could ever be this realistic. Technology, even at NASA, hasn't advanced far enough to fuck with perception of reality to this degree. I doubt China has technology better than NASA, and combined with the fact that China would have no reason to try to screw with my head it can't be that either. Overdosing drugs doesn't have this level of clarity, and I speak from personal experience. So everything here must be real.

It's hard to wrap my head around, this whole… reincarnation thing. It has to be reincarnation, Naomi was far too vivid. My life here is far too vivid. Something about the thought makes me giddy, but why I've yet to understand.

It may be because I like abstract topics which will require more than just critical thinking. That's why I like physics. I like not following rules that seem to be "absolute", and trying to find where the absolute may lie in. I like defying logic, despite my thought process always trying (and typically failing) to form itself into an organized and linear, logical manner.

I may be the only one, but at least I can confirm to myself that consciousness is not tied down to the brain. There is potential of life beyond the death of your body. I am living - rather, existing - proof that people are NOT represented by their body, rather by their minds. The mind and body are completely separate things with an extremely unique connection to each other.

Man, if philosophy could get its hands on this. The whole thing with plants being able to feel pain was already a huge shock, but disassociation from your body…

Makes you wonder if you could use that connection like a switch, where you turn off the body's connection to the mind and turn it back on later. Not like sleep or paralysis, rather like utilizing the body as an actual tool and extension of the mind instead of an equal to the mind; instead of the body as me. Of course, shutting off my brain and therefore my body completely is lethal, I know that.

More like, um. I guess… complete manipulation of the body and all it's processes. For instance, being able to temporarily remove a sense of pain. If you're born with it it's permanent and the medical part of the science community calls it congenital insensitivity to pain.

If I could remove this sense of pain, I would basically never be stressed, tired, or feel hurt. Depending on how it's used, it'll either be an amazing breakthrough or just a dangerously cool trick which could jeopardize my life.

…My general personality and attitude towards abstraction is probably why I'm not reacting too badly to the reincarnation part. The baby part, on the other hand…

This situation is repulsive. I _loathe, _with every fiber of my being, the feeling of helplessness and incapability. I'm used to handling all my problems and dealing with life on my own. The only things I as a baby can do alone is breathe, swallow food, take a dump, and sleep. I can't see properly, I can't hear properly, I can't use any of my five primary senses to the same degree that a normal person can, and it absolutely sucks.

And other than the breathing part, I need help to do those other things too. Someone has to feed me, and thank whatever god is out there if one exists that I'm not being breastfed (or at least don't recall being breastfed) because that'd be super awkward. The mere idea of someone changing my diapers and clothes for me is so revolting. Sleeping, I'm fine with. I sleep a lot. Kinda expected.

Sometimes, when I see blurry figures moving, I hear noises. The blurs are people, the noises being their voices. They keep getting jumbled up in my head, yet they always call me Hitori. My name is not Hitori. I am Naomi Brennan. I am not Hitori.

Yet I am here, so Naomi Brennan must be dead, and I must be Hitori.

_...Who am I really?_

_I'm me. Just me. Nobody else but me._

_I am-_

Pain erupts in my skull. It hurts _it hurts __**it hurts-**_

I think someone touches me, holds me, soothes me, and some of the pain is gone, just a little.

I've noticed that every time I try to think about anything for an extended period of time, I get a killer headache. Makes sense, a baby's brain is after all not meant to store the memories of 25 years of life plus it's own experiences. Heck, a baby's brain isn't even supposed to remember what it's own experiences are until around… I dunno, over a year old. I didn't study much about cognitive development of children in my high school AP psychology classes considering how little was known about it in comparison to other bits like manipulation and happiness. I don't even know if I'm considered normal in terms of mental/emotional and social health for a baby, which, yeah, most probably not.

For now, I guess I'll just keep trying to talk. Maybe move, too, the main issue I have being how I don't know if enough of my bones have been merged together yet so that I have enough strength to sit up straight, and I don't want to risk any accidents.

* * *

I do not have a mother. I also do not have a father. I have no parents.

Correction: _Hitori_ has no parents. Naomi certainly had a mother and father, both who she had cared very deeply for, thank you very much. Even if they were pretty bad at being parents. They still tried at least.

I first noticed this when my eyesight became a bit sharper. The faces I see are always differing. There is more than one female and one male adult around me.

This differentiation between Naomi and Hitori is a little concerning. A little. Overall, I'm not too bothered by it. This place which is caring for my well being is doing an excellent job, I think, so it doesn't matter to me. I'm not going hungry, I'm not abused, and all my clothes are, as far as I can tell, clean. Also, I have toys. Seemed slightly used. They'll have to do for me to development grip and whatever other motor skills I'll need.

* * *

I can sit. Though I need aid to do so, I am able to sit upright. This is a huge milestone for me.

In other news, I can't really understand what in the world people are saying to me, and it could be an entirely different language than the ones I know. Which makes things a bit more difficult. I'll deal with it, I have to.

Also, I'm eating solid food. No longer eating that gross puree stuff anymore. Granted, all I'm eating is mashed so that I don't choke and die. It's the thought that counts.

* * *

I can taste food!

I can **taste food**!

I don't know when exactly I was able to do this, but I can do it. Thank you, Hitori's body.

Even if the food tastes like diluted mush, it's still taste. Food, and the taste associated with it, is a blessing.

Other notes, um. I said "_Hi_" the other day, and a bunch of people got excited. Said a lot of things to me and tried to get me to say "_Hi_" as a reply. My first word, I guess. I know for a fact that they're not speaking anything remotely English around here (my hearing is good enough to hear things somewhat properly, can you imagine), so hopefully my first word doesn't translate to "_Go die_" instead of a casual greeting or something like that.

I can walk now. I just completely disregarded the crawling stage. Getting on my knees to move around? Ew. Gross. Who knows what's been on the floor. So yes, I learned to walk when I was put on the floor. Can only walk for a little time or distance. Still walking all the same.

My eyesight isn't fully developed yet, either that or I'll need glasses. Hopefully the former. However, my eyesight is good enough that I can see a general reflection in the mirror.

The difference from Naomi to Hitori is unsettling. My skin took on a more East-Asian tone, hair a dark shade of brown and similarly colored eyes. I look a year old.

Naomi had near-white ice blonde hair and stormy grey eyes with pale olive skin. She was 25 and a half when I left her body.

I immediately decide I don't like this change. I looked too… Asian. I'm not Asian. It's unsettling to see.

Another wave of headache hits, and I push it down. They're getting less frequent and painful as time goes by, and eventually, hopefully, they'll just disappear.

* * *

Hitori is a total of one-and-a-half years old when she is finally, FINALLY able to see things clearly, hear things clearly, run with a short sprint, comprehend "normal" sensations against skin, and _understand_ the language spoken. She can speak when spoken to, holding a surprisingly good conversation for someone her age (excluding flaws in grammar, of course). Hitori thinks the language sounds a lot like Japanese.

What else is important? She's out of diapers, so thus out of the baby stage. Moved out of the babies and toddlers area and with the two year olds now. She can write sloppy child-handwriting English (not that anyone else can read it or cares to try) and draw vaguely clear pictures.

She doesn't quite understand yet, but this rapid development will stir up something else: Attention. In the form of interest.

Not quite yet, but later down the road, it'll come to bite at her.

* * *

I am approximately one and a half years old when I step outside the orphanage and see the Mount Rushmore of this world.

My first reaction was _Whoa, that's a nice work of art,_ followed by _Wait a second, isn't that a bit too strange?_ to _THAT'S ACTUALLY REAL? WHAT THE FUCK?_

It really doesn't help that as I gawk at the (very) fine sculpture, I see before my very eyes a man in a noticeably dark green vest who jumps from rooftop to rooftop. And he has the _audacity_ to do so with a level of dignity and grace!

"Oh, those are the faces of all our _Hokage_," Yukki says. She's the lady currently watching over all the kids playing in the outside courtyard, and must have noticed my staring.

My brain short circuits.

What.

* * *

It seems that I now reside in the same realm as the characters of Naruto do.

I don't even try convincing myself otherwise. It's futile. I saw those carved faces and that man jumping from rooftop to rooftop. It's no coincidence.

So the multiverse is a thing. Nice.

This is great. Not. Sound like the start of an incredibly bad fanfiction, if you ask me.

Okay. Okay. This will work itself out. For now, let's weigh the pros and cons of being here.

Pros. I can be a ninja - er, shinobi, same thing. Defying gravity and breaking all other laws of the branches of science I know. I know the language spoken is basically Japanese.

Cons. I defy the laws of science and mind-fuck myself. Will be expected to commit murder and potentially torture, seduction, etc. Propaganda will be forced down my throat.

Well then, this is going to be great. Fuck it all, I'm going to be a ninja, who cares about my mental stability? Naomi was in the Armed Forces, dammit, if Naomi didn't even help kill anyone then Hitori might as well start now!

...ok, Naomi _was_ a pilot, so I wouldn't have been able to pick up a gun and shoot even if I wanted to. Also the whole "there was never a war to fight in" thing. Not the point.

I'm going to be a ninja, that's what matters!

* * *

I'm not going to be a ninja.

I tried the whole chakra control exercise today outside in the forest (wandering off is apparently fine as long as you return, which is convenient for me and worrying for other children that aren't me, unless it's not fine in which case nobody really cares as long as you return safe).

I messed up. I really messed up. Big time.

So, leaves. I don't remember much about the exercise other than you put a leaf on your body _somewhere_ and make it do _something_. I don't quite recall where or what so I just left one on my left hand's palm and held it upside-down against my palm pressed gently with my right pointer finger, pouring some of what I hope is chakra to see it if would spin or something.

It instead decided to explode.

Explosions occur when there's a lot of energy released in a small volume of space in a short amount of time. The energy was, presumably, chakra. The space occupied was the leaf. The time was under a second.

I've nearly managed to turn a leaf into a bomb. This is… not… good? Not expected?

I hope nobody questions the light burns on my left hand now. Or that anyone saw that. That would be a pain to explain.

I know how to get chakra out, at least…? Unfavorably, yeah. Just gotta work out a few dozen things…

Guess for now I'll meditate or something to increase my… I think it's yin energy. Spiritual energy. Whatever. Maybe even try lucid dreaming later so I can train and increase my physical yang energy in my sleep. I want to see if I can do astral projection, too, in the true sense of a spiritual, out-of-body experience.

Oh well. In terms of other issues, when deemed old enough (AKA when I start learning writing in Japanese), I'll ask for a journal to write shit down in. Like plot.

...I don't remember much about the plot. Actually, having been a bigger fan of slice-of-life and comedy anime, Naruto was never anything I actually got invested in. Too much shonen action in there. Since I didn't pay much attention to the show and never bothered with the manga, at best I have a rough outline filled with lots of misplaced and inaccurate info.

Um. That might be a problem. Maybe. Just maybe.

* * *

I don't know how to get the leaf to not explode.

This is not working as I had planned.

* * *

I turned two. For my birthday, I ask for a _**huge**_ (emphasis on huge) journal to draw (read: write) in, a pen (it exists! Thank you, Kishimoto!), and ink.

The request for journal can't be that unreasonable. Also, I haven't started learning kanji yet, but I did start hiragana.

Anyways, after a month and fourteen reminders later (people seriously hate October 10, I don't really get it), I get what is basically a stack of paper the size of about 6 inches tall **(A/N: roughly 15 cm)** (did I actually annoy them that much…?) loosely held between two slabs of cardboard in a cardboard box, a strangely shaped fountain pen, and lots of black ink. As in what is probably the equivalent of 30 200ml bottles of ink. That's like, 1.5 gallons. Whatever unit you wanna go by. Assuming each bottle can get down 5,000 words, it's a total of 150,000 words that can be written.

So, a lot of words.

There's definitely at least 1,000 sheets of paper in this box. 1,000 pages to write on, since I can't risk writing on both sides and smearing the ink like that.

I begin writing when I return to my small room holding the box of goodies. Everything I remember from Naomi, absolutely everything worth remembering, it's written. My hand always hurts when I write too much and I keep smudging the ink where it drips. As long as it's still legible, which it is, I don't particularly care. That's the only thing that matters.

Each subject I write means a switch in ciphers or codes and language. I know six, including extremely limited Common (Japanese) and native-level English. Thanks to my father having been a European translator and teaching me fluency in French and Russian, plus those two language courses I was forced to take in middle school prompting me to learn surprisingly detailed Latin and a decent amount of German, I have a lot to work with here. Codes and ciphers I learned either from my mother in my early childhood, on my own via boredom and internet, or through my time in the US Armed Forces.

The way I have it worked out:

-English gets morse code and takes most of science (bio, chem, and physics) and mathematics.

-French gets Vigenère cipher with the key being _French_ and covers history/geography/society.

-Russian has its equivalent of ROT1 for life skills like cooking, health standards, and physical and mental (military) training.

-Latin is just Latin, since, y'know. Latin without anything to be based off of is pretty unreadable already. Latin is taking technology.

-German is covering whatever else is left, like economics and books. All the random bits that don't fit anywhere else comes to German. And German gets its equivalent of binary.

They're good combos since I don't need a machine to encrypt the codes and I've memorized how the Vigenère cipher works. Just as long as I have an understanding of how the code or cipher works and the language it's being translated from I won't need a machine for decryption, ever.

(I add a table of contents on the inside front cover anyways labeling the codes, how they work, and languages assigned per topic, in plain text English, just in case. Better safe than sorry.)

I cram it all into this stack.

After a month of being cooped up inside this shared room, the stack of paper has virtually no room left to write in, and I have exhausted as much of Earth's progress into this one stack as I possibly can. I didn't finish the German part, I'm almost done - need another 15 pages, maybe. And Naomi's memories aren't even here!

I have clearly underestimated the amount of information I can remember. Thanks a bunch, Naomi's memories.

In regards to foresight on the Naruto world… yeah, fuck that. I'm doing what I want.

Either the world will continue on its debatable deterministic route as expected from the Naruto plotline (where the world tries to maintain its natural state of dynamic equilibrium and continues to reject all changes I try to make in order to correct itself), or it'll change massively and any foreknowledge I have will be utterly useless. I know a thing or two about quantum mechanics enough to realize my very existence will likely cause a butterfly effect with either minimal or massive impact, even if I try to stay out of the reach of plot.

Besides, it could just so happens to be that the world I currently am in is nothing like the Naruto I remember watching on screen.

...It's really just an excuse for the whole "I don't remember much of the plot" part.

Plus side is that I have all my teeth and can eat normal food now.

I was decidedly old enough for a bed, so I share a bunk bed (bottom bed, sadly, but I guess me being right smack next to a window will be nice during the summer) in a room with a bunch of other girls ages 2-4. There are 15 others here, and it's a little cramped, but at least everyone has room to sleep.

The beds are rather large for kids. I assume that means we're all stuck here to grow into this small room. Teenage years will suck.

Also, I now sit at the table with the other kids for my meals instead of being shoved on a baby chair.

I feel almost claustrophobic with these tight spaces, then I remember how much worse other people in other branches of the Armed Forces had it and I feel a bit better.

My meals are great. Like plain white rice. With soy sauce. Tastes… about as great as expected. Reminds me of Naomi's days of deployment overseas, when she was in Japan and got lost and hungry. Good times. Good memories. (Except for the part where she was punished for returning late and forced to run laps around the perimeter of the base until she dropped. She dropped in 2 hours.)

* * *

If Uchiha Madara were alive today, he'd be around 78 years old. That's not old. People can live over 100 years if they're really healthy.

Well, okay, it's old in this world. Heck, 30 is old in this world. To think, just about 27 and a quarter years from now (2 and a quarter years if you wanna be like _that_), I'll be considered old. It's a little weird to me, but the norm around here.

I have a lot of free time on my hands, okay. Mostly I spend that time in the public library around… 2 blocks down (would blocks be an appropriate unit of measurement? I dunno, non-grid based towns/cities are weird) learning about the Naruto world after having learned basic reading and writing of kana and kanji from the bored library volunteers. (Something about contributing back to the village. Not gonna complain, at least I get a headstart on Common/Japanese.)

Though I already expected this, the scientific knowledge in this world is all over the place. Gravity is supposedly because of natural chakra, which, I mean. Chakra is defined as at best energy, so technically not wrong. Not right either.

Some of the more advanced mathematics involving physics is all sorts of screwed over due to chakra. In fact, there's probably an entire subsection of physics about chakra. It'll be interesting to read once I find it. If it exists. Please exist because I seriously don't know what I'll do otherwise with all my equations and a good chunk of half the knowledge from Naomi's career.

There is a disturbingly wide range of information about the human body and mind that I can find. Mainly to do with torture and manipulation. Why is this in the public access section? I imagine, as you reach higher levels (such as Academy, genin, chunin, and jonin) there'll be much more, ah… descriptive versions. Why. Why can't you focus on happiness. Good things in life exist too.

Foreign languages don't seem to exist, which doesn't make any sense, at all. Sure, there are dialects and codes (not ciphers, which um, okay), just not different languages. Did everyone just… originate from one spot, all able to understand each other with the same noises, and just kept it like that?

No way. Doesn't make any sense. I'll have to come up with a theory for how language was developed, then. Later.

Geography is confusing. Reminds me of Pangea, almost. Except that the parts representing the Americas, Australia, and Antarctica aren't a thing, so things like vanilla and chocolate and the South Pole and whatnot are given bastardized versions or just aren't there. That happened. So it's more like Afro-Eurasia, in that sense.

At least history, politics, and anything and everything related to chakra and shinobi seem interesting. Yeah, yeah, I know, everything in those topics is extremely limited to children, especially public access, and in the case of history tips over into Konoha's favor. Not to say it's not interesting, because it still is.

Learning about chakra is especially rough. For one, there's not much in the public access section about it other than being extremely important and whatever other basic stuff civilians are allowed to look at.

Chakra is, in the best explanation all the texts I read and that I can provide, pretty much energy. Energy that can manifest itself and be controlled by people to do things that defy nature. So not really energy. I guess you can call it manipulative energy. Or categorize it as something different with many similarities to energy, since chakra is fundamentally different from energy.

Definitions aren't really clear. I'm struggling to properly understand this. I like to think of it as trying to understand infinity; it's just not possible. You can try, just… fail.

In that case, the following scenario is very interesting. Using fire as our example for chakra being kinda like energy. Fire has 3 main components; oxygen, heat, and a fuel source. I assume using chakra to create a fire takes oxygen naturally present in the air, heat generated from fire nature chakra in the form of thermal heat or something else, and fuel (from where, probably chakra, nevertheless I'll look into it just in case) to create the fire.

That doesn't explain why _all_ fires from chakra seem as though they can be put out by water. For instance, if I were to start a fire fueled by some sort of flammable metal like sodium, with naturally present oxygen and fire nature chakra generating the heat, there's no way that water should be able to get rid of it. In this specific situation, water reacts with the sodium and the heated water particles separate, then hydrogen acts as the accelerant to increase the rate of combustion helping to create an explosion.

Wait. I kinda want to test this out. Does fire nature chakra, if used to heat all different kinds of fires, always get the same results against water nature chakra of the same level regardless of the fuel used? Since, after all, with general fires from wood water will supposedly always remove the heat source.

If yes, then I guess that means water nature chakra will always, without a doubt, remove the presence of heat in fires. The fuel just doesn't matter. That'll mean I have to rethink my entire chemistry education. If no, then, uh. I guess chemistry wins, yay. The most likely answer is no, since chemistry always wins against me.

Okay, step one. Learn to use chakra. Then test out the fire thing after getting my life together somewhat smoothly. Back to the leaves it is.

* * *

I keep making the leaves explode.

I have no idea how to fix that. I've put the leaves everywhere - my palms, my elbow, my thighs, my stomach, my abdomen, my back, even my bare foot. Tried making it spin. It just explodes.

Do you understand how frustrating it is to continuously be failing without any understanding of how or why? It's extremely annoying. I have new bruises and burns on my body that I need to hide every week. Thankfully, I'm able to shower alone, so no worries about anyone seeing them.

Except for my roommates. Luckily, there's this sort of rule we all have unconsciously agreed to where if one of us gets involved in something we shouldn't have, we all collectively ignore it.

I tend to avoid all of my roommates though. The only times I see them are when it's pretty much unavoidable, like for morning roll call, mealtimes, and curfew. They avoid me, too, because I'm too weird for them or something. All the same, hope that agreement applies to me.

The leaf, sticking to my left pointer finger upside down (from body oils and sweat, I imagine) explodes again. My finger hurts.

Auuuuuugh. I'm doing it wrong, but what is it that I'm doing that's wrong?

It's not where I place the leaf, I know that at least. Upside down or not gets the same results. Could it be the spinning? Is there a certain speed I'm supposed to spin it at, or am I not supposed to even spin it at all? Is it something to do with chakra output? Am I just super bad at chakra control?

There are too many variables. I don't like it.

Hitori punches one of the trees in the forest with what I hope is as much force as she can muster.

There's a sharp _pop-snap,_ and I pull back my right hand in horror.

My fingers are engulfed with pain.

I stare instead at the fist-sized dent in the tree.

"_...Oh. Shit._"

I proceed to run out of the forest.

* * *

I have either majorly fucked up or I have not.

There is no in between here. If someone noticed the strange spike in chakra and the child-sized fist imprint on that one tree in the forest and connects the leftover chakra there with the fist imprint on that tree with my chakra signature (I'm not stupid, if everything has chakra then so do my fingerprints), I'm screwed over. However, if I have managed to play it off as a child in the Academy training in the woods or the imprint has too little chakra to be connected back to me, then I'll be saved.

I sincerely hope it's the latter.

I'm scared, okay. I don't want to get in trouble for this. Being overly self conscious, in a village full of suspicious and intelligent ninjas is a good thing here. It'll help me identify and then thwart any potential qualms someone may have.

On another note, I had broken a few fingers with that "punch". Got it fixed with a med-nin using the lame excuse of "um, I fell" (and they actually believed that, thank whatever forces at work), who I gaped at while she was in the process of putting the bones back together. The glowing green light from her palm was cool.

I felt the bones reconnect themselves. Med-nin said not to put my right hand under too much pressure for a while. Well, what she doesn't know can't hurt her.

I asked to learn what she did to me and she laughed with a "maybe when you're older", instead directing me to somewhere else to learn. And apparently (surprise, surprise) they offer educational classes here in the orphanage, and I wasn't made aware of it. I was told by one of the teachers not to bother coming since I didn't have to start them until I was 5 years old, but hey, even so I'm insisting on going.

I'm not truthfully a kid. Sure, I could have fun pretending to be one and enjoy life, but I'm really not a kid and haven't been for years and I know it shows. Might as well be the not-really-a-kid kid then and start my education.

Diligent studying is the way to go. Since I want to be a ninja, I'll need good grades to get into the Academy and I'll have to practice good health. Meaning none of Naomi's bad habits are allowed to be carried on into Hitori's life.

…

…who am I even trying to lie to. Of course I'm going to eventually be pulling all nighters like it's nothing and learn to function on three hours of sleep without caffeine or sugar. The fact that I'm enthusiastic about being a future child soldier overrules any other potentially high-risk habits I already have or will develop.

* * *

You know what I learned today in one of those classes I mentioned? Time.

No, really. I learned how time works in the Naruto world, or at least this version of it. Since these classes at the orphanage are just teaching kids common sense topics, like basic mathematics.

Everyone in the class, including newly joined me, knows how to count to 100. Then the teacher dropped a huge bomb on us - fine, just me - saying that every minute is approximately 100 seconds.

Which, um. Excuse me. What.

Apparently 60 seconds per minute doesn't apply here. So how does the rest of the day work out?

In every hour, there are 50 minutes. In every day, there are 25 hours. In every week, there's still the standard 7 days. Still, people tend to use the term fortnights more, which are now 4 days and 3 nights instead of 2 weeks, because apparently that's how long most missions above genin level are.

There are alternating 31 or 30 days every two months with the last month being an outlier of 35 days for a total of 12 months, meaning a nice, consistent 371 days per year. The moon's cycle thing is every 30 days. Very nice. No leap years or that weird thing with February. I'm- ugh. This hurts my head.

The average day in this world is around 125,000 seconds long. The average day back on Earth is about 86,400 seconds. That's a huge difference of 38,600 seconds.

A day on Earth goes by faster at a rate of nearly 1.45 times. Since the full rotation around the Sun is longer here, I assume this planet is farther from the Sun. Meaning light from the Sun takes longer to travel to here and-

This is annoying. So, so annoying. And- you know what, I'd like to call it Naruto-verse logic and Naruto-verse timing and Naruto-verse version of Earth, but those names are too long and it sounds like I'm dedicating everything to Naruto, so my unit of time measurement to distinguish the differences will be… ErT for Earth time (Naomi) and NOW t(ime) (Hitori/Naruto-verse).

Actually ErT for Earth stuff and NOW for Naruto-verse stuff works nicely. I'll stick to that.

My age as Naomi was 25 and a half years ErT, but she'd be around 17.35 years old NOW t, if I did my math correctly. I now understand why it's so shocking to see that Madara Uchiha, if he were to be found alive today, would be at the age of 78 years old NOW t. He'd be making his way to 115 years old ErT, and damn that's impressive. (Unless it's not. I don't really understand how NOW compares to ErT in terms of the average person's health, lifestyle, sanitation, etc. other than the whole "it's not as _great_ but not exactly bad".)

Again, this is _assuming I did my math correctly_.

In any case, I've come to the realization that this means that bodies in this world develop at a different rate than bodies from Earth (probably slower, I don't know for 100% certainty yet), so whatever others standards (like time) I know of may have to be thrown out the window. As have most of my assumptions about this world better be.

I have to start from scratch all over again, huh.

Chakra is already a huge pain to try understanding. To think something like time has changed instead of, I dunno, gender… that's just infuriating. I'd be happier as a man, too. No raging hormones and monthly cycle. Less affected by emotions and shit.

* * *

I got paper!

For my third birthday. Yesterday. It's October 11 today.

Okay, I know it's meant for practicing writing simple katakana and hiragana on. Thing is, the people at the library already taught me that and I have it memorized. It's easy stuff. I'm learning more of the simpler kanji now.

Not the point. The point is, I've got paper. Meaning I have a bunch of paper to work with/record my progress.

I didn't even have to beg. They just shoved it into my hands after an hour of constant insistence; another box of empty sheets of paper, I dunno how much (cheap paper is pretty easy to come by in a land surrounded by tall-ass trees, huh) and a lot more ink and a brand new pen. Thanks, orphanage, and people sponsoring it. I leave my barely intact "journal" in the first cardboard box and the second barely-larger box next to it with said boxes left on the wide window sill (sorry, no flowers).

Sitting on my stiff bed with my elbows on my pillow and feet on my blanket, I finish up the German binary bit I promised myself to do with the full moon's light shining on the paper.

With the rest of the paper I begin, with modern Russian, writing about Naomi's life. Her parents, her school life, her time in service as a pilot and experiences abroad, time in NASA, events leading to her eventual death, etc. Her friends, her two crushes in life (and wasn't that rather fond and cringe-worthy to be writing about). As much as I could remember, to stay connected to Naomi. There's a good 40 to 60 pages there.

When I'm done, I write about Hitori's life, in modern French. There's not much, it's just discussing the orphanage conditions, people I'm rooming with, and general non-shinobi related milestones I've set and met. I set aside another 30 sheets or so to continue writing about her life until the next birthday.

Modern German for dictating my progress with chakra and becoming a shinobi-ninja-kunoichi thing. There are only 3 sheets so far, and they're all filled with a bunch of scratches and anger. I've yet to make progress with the leaves.

I do basically all of my thinking in my mother tongue, English, so I'll make sure to occasionally write uncoded in other languages to keep my fluency in check. English is for reminders and schedules and stuff, I guess. If I can get more paper and join the Academy, I'll write in Latin about my education there and as a shinobi when I graduate.

…I'm 3 years old and wasn't Kakashi, like, 5 when he graduated as a genin? I know he's a prodigy and all, but… I need to step up my game.

Look, I just want to be super overpowered. Like Team 7 became. As in, surpassed Sanin-level OP. _Surpassed Orochimaru OP._ Might as well dive into everything I care about and get super good at it.

Becoming a sensor, tracker, or whatever? Sure. Please, that'd be so cool. I could tell whether or not people were following me, even if I wasn't trying to look for them. I'd never lose another game of Hide and Seek.

Med-nin? Up my game with precise chakra control, yes. Absolutely. Always being able to heal your own injuries is amazing for a shinobi on higher-ranked missions.

Info gathering/processing, scouting… Naomi did a lot of that, so in terms of Hitori I don't think I'd like to focus there.

T&I is nice in dreams and jokes and shit in reality, so I'd join if it was my thing. Same with infiltration, aside from the whole "I-suck-at-hiding-it's-not-even-funny". I mean, I can hide _in _clouds with aircraft, yeah, but I can't see in them either, so what's the point? Besides the whole no aircraft exists in the first place, so…

ANBU (namely ROOT) isn't really something I'd want to do. They might be messed up, but I still do have ethics. Hypocritical ethics are ethics, dammit.

Taijutsu needs work. Genjutsu needs work. Ninjutsu needs work. _**Everything needs work.**_

...Chakra control. Right. Then move on to chakra manipulation and get started on sensory. Since I'm already so behind on that, I'll need to pour more energy and time into it. I haven't begun lucid dreaming yet because I don't know whether it'll send my brain into overdrive, but I'm 3 now and I should be fine.

Start training myself in a mind space at night and general physical conditioning during the day to increase my yang energy, and meditation during breaks in the day to increase yin energy. To my understanding, more yin-yang energy means more chakra… I need more books on chakra, too.

Nevermind that. Once I get that down to a point where I can sense people without being obvious about it, I'll start subtly "tagging" people. I don't think Konoha is all too big even if it is the largest "hidden" village - currently has a population of roughly, I'd say, 50,000 including civilians, travelers, and shinobi.

Area-wise it's pretty small too. I'd say at most the average civilian could take a little under half a day to travel from the main gate to the Hokage's office all the way on the other end of Konoha without any breaks or chakra, so… average walking distance is maybe 3 mph - I'll say 3.5 mph because NOW standards applies here rather than ErT standards - multiplied by half the day, 12 hours - sorry, _12.5_ because of how time works NOW - 43.75 miles in diameter, or 21.875 radius. A=(pi)r^2 for area.

That means… a generous estimate of 478.5 miles squared (**A/N: about 1,240 km squared**).

Distribute population evenly, and that's… I think it's a little over 100 people per mile squared, though including training grounds and all that kinda stuff it's likely more than 120, or 150 people on average per miles squared (in the populated areas).

…that's. Not a lot.

Like, really. Not a lot. I'm definitely being biased because I grew up in the city where you'd find at least 1,000 people per square mile. In any case, I'm genuinely surprised.

Means tagging people will be easier, I presume? Sensory/tracking and all. Good, I suppose.

Med-nin stuff I'll focus on once I can get my hands on a textbook to work with. And live test subjects, specifically rats or fish or plants will do fine. Chakra control will be necessary first though…

Hmm. Genjutsu… as long as I can break out of one, I'll be good. I'm not necessarily the best with covering the finer details, so I won't be able to specialize in genjutsu even if I wanted to. Depends, really. Psychological warfare is extremely effective but not my area of expertise.

Ninjutsu is just me letting loose and having fun with chakra, which I can do when I manage to work out how to not make leaves explode. It'll be fun, especially once I get into the what and why and how.

…Literally taijutsu is the only thing I can actually start with right now.

Great.

I write all that down and consider what to focus on with taijutsu. Let go of chakra control for now because I'm not going anywhere currently. Will return focus on that when I can get either a hint to start with or when my taijutsu is beyond satisfactory.

Alright. Taijutsu. Focuses on the body. Step one: Take care of the body first.

Health related fitness covers mainly 5 things. Body composition, in which case I'll want a higher ratio of lean muscle tissue to body fat and it can be maintained through physical activity. Flexibility is a huge deal, a good chunk of my training will go there to making sure I can bend my body all sorts of ways. Muscular strength and endurance is important, meaning as many push-ups and sit-ups as possible. Cardiovascular endurance… I'll just run around a lot, I guess.

Nice. Set up a schedule.

7:00 NOW t: Wake up for roll call. Get ready for breakfast, eat for around an hour NOW t.

About 8:25 NOW t: There are (non-mandatory in my case, but I'm taking them anyways) lessons for about 3 and a half hours NOW t.

12:00 NOW t: Lunch for an hour NOW t.

13:00 NOW t: Everyone just does whatever. Spend this time relaxing, reading, or training.

Around 17:00 NOW t: Return for dinner, another hour NOW t.

18:00 NOW t: Get ready for bedtime stories, about 25-50 minutes NOW t. You could ignore them and just hang out outside if you want to, though.

19:25 NOW t: Curfew, but you can stay up as long as you don't bother anyone. Spend the next half hour NOW t or so meditating unless something of more importance needs attention.

20-22:00 NOW t: Sleep maybe 10-12 hours NOW t for lucid dreaming training. This time will decrease as Hitori ages since her body will require less sleep over time. More time awake means more time for meditation.

...TIME. NARUTO TIME. NOW t. IT SUCKS.

Well, with my free time… I decided I'm taking lessons with everyone else. Meaning 4 hours for library and training.

...alright, everyday is one and a half hours NOW t in the library, and one and a half hours NOW t for training in the forest. One hour NOW t to account for transportation and potential accidents where I may end up lost or stopping by a tree to cry my eyes out over failure to make progress with the _damn leaf exercise_.

I can work with this.

I have about 50 sheets of empty paper left to record my progress with chakra. I can stretch that over the course of a year and ask the nice people at the library for more paper if needed.

…I should go to sleep now. It looks like the Sun will be rising in around 2 or 3 hours NOW t.

* * *

I missed breakfast due to sleeping in. They're having me do chores, and after I just set up my schedule, too…

* * *

Next week I wake up after succeeding to enter a lucid dream. I work on my physical "training" in there, practicing some of the training Naomi did, and when I got bored decided to practice my verbal skills in language. German is still a bit rusty with the y.

With my actual body, I think I'm getting more flexible. I was able to do a split in the library the other day. (It got a few weird looks. I might avoid the library for a bit… Nah. Just kidding. I need books to entertain my adult mind and stimulate the child brain.)

I returned to the forest, this time in a different direction than my fist-imprinted tree. And I retry the leaf exercise.

According to one of the Academy students I managed to coincidentally eavesdrop on in the library, you're supposed to attach it to your head and have it just… stick there.

And it's working. It's sticking to my forehead.

Either I misheard the kid, the kid was wrong, I have already good chakra control, or there's something wrong here.

The most likely scenario is that there's an abnormality in this situation. I don't know what it is, and since I'm rather limited in my knowledge over chakra, I'll just give up for now.

Taijutsu is going along smoothly. My training routine works like this (in NOW t):

Return from the library and go to the orphanage, except head towards the back where the forest is. Go inside the forest, just passing by 30 trees. Warm up with 5 minutes of stretching. Begin the workout with a walk deeper into the forest, then gradually break out into a run, then back to a walk back to the original place. Start push-ups once bpm falls back down to normal, and stretch again for 3 minutes once I can't do push-ups anymore. Afterwards, it's back to sit-ups for as many as possible, then a stretch for 3 minutes. Wrap it all up with a light jog. Take a 10 minute meditation break. Takes around an hour. Spend the next half hour slumped against a tree or being productive, then turn back and return to the orphanage.

Results are good. I'm flexible to a disturbing degree, for only 3 years old. Like I said, I can do a split easily, I'll soon be able to do a bridge… as long as I keep stretching, I'll maintain or increase my flexibility. Just don't stretch too much, in case I accidentally rip a muscle or whatever.

I've been running a lot too, but I keep struggling to run quickly with long distances due to my child-like body. Building up cardiovascular endurance is going to be rough, but I'll condition myself into it.

As for muscles, I'm building up muscular strength and endurance. I can do a plank for a good half minute at most (in ErT terms) if I really push myself, which is impressive for my age. Or not if you account for how this world works, depends on how you want to see it. The number of push ups and sit ups I can do is ever-increasing; I reached about 25 and 30 the other day, respectively. Impressive for only 3 years old… I think.

I'm aiming for being able to do, without too much stress/pain: a 5 minute plank, 100 push ups in 10 minutes, 100 sit ups in 10 minutes, 100 squats in 10 minutes, and a 10 km run a day (in under an hour NOW t). One Punch Man training routine has got to work here, and I don't think I'll even turn bald either.

I'll be fine. Right? Yeah.

As long as I get the dumm chakra working and-

* * *

Dear me, Hitori,

I saw a shinobi today.

I was on my way to the forest where I train in and I saw a shinobi. Dark brown hair, extremely tanned skin, and a green vest.

The whole bandage wrapping over clothes? Confirmed. F-ing. Shinobi. Civilians think that's a stupid fashion choice, and I have to agree.

Anyways, I couldn't train there due to his or her presence, so I spent the day running around Konoha instead. Noticed that the orphanage is a lot closer to the Hokage Mount than expected. Found the Academy while I was running near the Hokage Mount, actually. I was able to find a "secret" path up to the top of the sculpture while I ran back and forth. Wasn't able to climb it since I had to go back to the orphanage. Might consider climbing it whenever I find the chance.

* * *

I'm not learning as much as I would like in my classes.

The only things we're doing are learning to memorize katakana and hiragana, katakana focused mainly. No kanji yet. The people in the library are already teaching me twelve and thirteen stroke kanji (which I can actually memorize and read and write and speak surprisingly enough considering how I've only started about 3 weeks ago, likely caused from the frequency of the kanji's usage around here as the literally _one existing language here_), so you can imagine my frustration.

Very close to considering ditching these classes altogether to hang out at the library, but I don't want to seem too suspicious. The civilians there may report me to someone and them I'd have to explain the situation and might get in trouble, or worse, attract someone's unwanted interest. Like, um. Orochimaru. Because he probably has spies around here. Like… I dunno, Kabuto or someone else.

Or that other old dude in charge of ROOT. I don't remember much about him other than him having an eyepatch-like thing and eventually am arm full of Uchiha eyes.

...Guess I'm bearing with these classes for now, but it sucks. It really, really sucks.

I want a friend to hang out with, too. Life is boring. Thing is, none of the kids here are worth hanging out with. They're all - pardon my language - _stupid little shits_.

Can I just get enrolled in the Academy? Please?

Even better, make me genin. Give me missions. Give me money. Give me independence. Lemme move out of the orphanage.

I sigh again as I hear another kid as for a repeat over something he doesn't understand. Life is so mundane.

* * *

It's been raining lately. But it's still, like, late January. Or whatever the NOW equivalent version of that is. Spring is around the corner, unless it's already arrived. I haven't seen sight of snow at all, now that I think about it… Maybe because in the Land of Fire, it's too warm for it? I hope that's the case and not something else.

Regardless, rain means I need an umbrella to go outside to the library, and I can't train.

I do borrow an umbrella from one of the people at the orphanage (thanks a bunch, Miss I-forgot-your-name) to go to the library. She thinks I like going there for story time, to which I nodded because _mhm yeah I go there not because I want to learn kanji and read books of course not I go there to listen to people read to me_.

I'm a good child, haha. Of course. (Not.)

I "train" by playing or running around with the boys in the indoor courtyard to make up for the time lost from the rain. It's not very fun, but exercise is exercise. There's this one boy, Ni- or Shi- or whatever, who keeps trying to trip me, but other than that it's not as bad as I expected.

The girls in my room keep glaring at me. Not too sure why.

Ooooooh, maybe one of them has a crush on Ni- Shi- what's his name-

Nah. He's too ugly. His hair makes his head look like a beaver's tail.

* * *

...I may have asthma.

This is a self-diagnosis, so it may not be as accurate as I would like. The point is, though, there is a strong probability that I have asthma.

It's been about 4 months since I started training myself - so around early February now - and I can travel longer distances, sure, but I started to notice how I always find myself wheezing or short on breath very early on. I chalked it up to my child-like body, but after playing the Naruto world equivalent of Tag earlier today with some of the boys in the inside courtyard, I've come to notice other people don't have this problem, or don't struggle with it like I do.

If I do have asthma, that certainly has put a dent in my shinobi career.

Naomi had asthma too; it was the reason why she had to leave the US Air Force.

Asthma is defined as a chronic, life-long disease, meaning there's nothing you can do about it other than offer some help to get through it. Surprisingly enough, it's pretty common. I think about 8%, maybe a little more or less, of the population in the US has some degree of asthma. If you're born extremely healthy, you don't have to worry about it.

Naomi's asthma went away early in her childhood. It came back as _moderate persistent_ asthma after a mission gone wrong. She was always short on breath after some vigorous exercise, and couldn't be deployed into a lot of areas due to potentially endangering her health and triggering an asthma attack.

I think Hitori may have _mild persistent_ asthma. It's not as bad as Naomi's. It's still bad though. Might affect my activities, depending on the triggers. I'll have to rearrange my exercise so that I'm not always wheezing from a run or at risk of an asthma attack. It'll especially suck if I'm getting an asthma attack alone - without an inhaler to work with, I could be at risk of dying.

That's lame.

Add that to my ever-growing list of problems, why don't'cha.

* * *

_THE RAIN HAS ENDED!_

It's been a while. Mid-February now.

I'm going back to my forest to weep in joy today. Fuck you, Ni-Shi guy, for tripping me, you can't try tripping me anymore!

I'm on my way to learning more kanji. I can almost understand all the words in the more intermediate level texts in the public section of the library.

My training outdoors can continue.

_YES!_

* * *

I'm not too sure what happened, but I think my roommates just tried to destroy my papers. Namely my journal.

It looks like they tried (and failed) to open the boxes. They are, after all, shut with tape. Where I got it from… I found it on the ground during one morning at breakfast. Someone just left it there, and combined with the fact I'm not a good person, I took it. Later I returned it to one of the staff members claiming to have just found it, because I don't like the idea of being a thief.

Not the point. Point is, they're targeting something extremely personal to me. What did I ever do to them to deserve this?

Other than, you know, what I'm already doing.

Life is complicated as a kid. Girls, we all hate confrontation, get it over with so we'll all move on living happier lives.

* * *

Hey, Hitori? Me? Um.

Pretty sure that's an ANBU in the shadow of the tree.

_What the- no. Nope. Just pretend you don't see it. Yeah._

If they bring me to a… what's the clan name… Uh. If they bring me to a family member of Ino's I'm screwed over. I have made no attempts or success at dissociating the mind from the body, so if Ino's father or T&I tries to get intell off me, I'm basically screwed.

"**Laissez-moi tranquille,**" (French: Leave me be.) I mutter under my breath. Please, I just want to train here.

A minute too late, I realize the mistake.

Whipping my head up to see the ANBU gone, my face instantly pales. Shit.

The ANBU caught me speaking. In Non-Common.

This is most definitely NOT an ideal circumstance to be in.

* * *

The Hokage had come to the orphanage to give an annual speech about the Will of Fire or some bullcrap.

I missed it while I was outside. There's a chance that nobody noticed the lack of my presence, too busy rounding up the other orphans or whatever, so I might be in the clear for sticking outside.

…At least it explains the ANBU.

* * *

Wait, did the ANBU even see me? Or hear me? Or heck, did they even think I was actually speaking something instead of mumbling random noises?

I should keep the possibility of that being true in mind, yeah, but if things worked out in my favor I should be able to keep training in the forest.

Fine. I'll stop lying to myself. High chance the Hokage may already know of my, ah, slip up. Reasonable chance he's decided to ignore it in favor of other problems, like hanging out with Naruto and dealing with papers.

I should avoid the Hokage and anyone closely associated with him like the plague until I sort things out. By that I mean until I reach the Academy. If I can find Naruto, might have a few words with him, but I'm not counting on getting close to him until I can cast a henge.

* * *

Speaking of which, where the fuck is Naruto?

* * *

I don't know where Naruto is, or how his life circumstances are currently.

Naruto, the main fricking character of the story titled _Naruto_, and I know nothing about him right now. Haven't even seen him around.

Shit, shit, shit. I've been too self-absorbed with myself to worry about him and-

Wait. What about other things? Like- like the Uchiha Massacre? The, um, what else was there that happens before the story officially starts - dammit, I can't think of anything in Konoha. I know there's something else, but I can't remember what.

I need to do something. I need to act before I regret my decision to do nothing.

Alright. Time to get organized.

I pull out another sheet of paper and the pen and a bottle of ink, and start writing a basic outline, in English.

_*) Continue taijutsu. Begin tries to master chakra control + manipulation. Afterwards, sensory + med-nin training. Attempt ninjutsu. Ignore genjutsu. Try to get this all down this yr NOW._

_1) Find __Naruto_ _main character and get to know more about how he's doing. DO NOT APPROACH IF WITH THE HOKAGE._

_2) Stop Uchiha Massacre (occurs when Sasuke is ~8 yrs old NOW). Befriend a Uchiha in power, ex. Itachi (should be Genin by now) or Shisui or even Sasuke's father. Do whatever it takes to keep peace between clan + village. Maybe under 5 yrs NOW to make a change, so befriend a Uchiha within the current yr NOW._

_3) Get into the Academy. Avoid Ino (can read body language and facial expressions), Shikamaru (too smart, smarter than you), Naruto (obvious reasons), and whoever else that could stir trouble, in that order. Sasuke=ok if not surrounded by fangirls. Sakura=ok if she's not a fangirl. Shino=ok to hang out with, but our personalities don't mesh well; stick with him for training. Choji (food), Kiba (dog), and Hinata (byakugan) will make good friends. Can afford to ignore everyone else._

_4) Don't get caught with this. Use whatever dirty tricks that are necessary; a henge, a shadow clone, a not-yet-truth. Do whatever it takes._

I wait for the ink to dry before I put everything else away, leaving the list shoved inside my pants pocket. Seems like I have a lot of work ahead of me.

* * *

Someone at the library, one of the civilian volunteers, a female, gave me flowers. They look like they're nice flowers, too. She said someone left them for me, and wouldn't answer any of my questions regarding who. I'm peeved. Dunno what flower they are, but the point is, I got flowers from someone I don't even personally know.

This is disturbing.


	2. Descend

**I love the internet for supplying my research with free, widely available information. Otherwise I'd have no idea what I'm doing. Apologies for all the grammar mistakes I haven't caught, and potential poor quality. This chapter leaves a lot be desired. Might come back in a few days to add some other changes.**

**Aside from that, this fanfic caught a lot more attention than I had expected. Not that that's a bad thing. Thanks for reading, you guys. And to those of you reviewing, thanks for taking the time to do that, too.**

Chapter 2: Descend

* * *

_A posse ad esse._

_Latin to English:_

_From possibility to actuality._

* * *

It's early March in Konoha with birds chirping loudly outside, the trees no longer bare but instead bursting with green leaves, and morning breakfast as plain as ever.

Today is a little break from the normal routine; children are being approached throughout the day as for what their dreams, rather, career aspirations, are. It does make sense - they would want to get rough estimates for what they could expect out of the orphans, right? I'll just say "wanna be a shinobi" and get it over with.

"I want to be a shinobi", I quickly learn, is a very common answer. Not too common, as there are several who still aspire to other professions, but common enough. Propaganda this young, huh? Or maybe it's the whole "the Hokage came to visit us orphans". Regardless, my answer won't stick out among this crowd, which is… good. Yeah. I think it is.

"I wanna be a shinobi," I say. The man nods, writes it down, and moves on to the next person, quickly gathering answers.

There's an audible gasp from the person sitting next to me - some guy, dunno who - and I ignore it. _Hope he's not choking on his rice, if he ends up vomiting over me I'm going to punch him. Hard._

"You can't be a shinobi." He instead whispers, loudly. It draws my attention, and I'm sure some other people are curious about this approaching conversation as well.

I stop all other thoughts of irrelevant topics like boring to-be lessons restarting, my chopsticks still in the air about to dig into my meal. "What?" I ask. Because, _what._

"You can't be a shinobi," he repeats. "Look at you. You're so skinny! You're gonna fall over!" I stare at this… this, this kid. I don't recall his name. A quick glance (dark navy eyes, seaweed green hair, male, approximately 4 or 5 years NOW t old) reminds me of nothing other than the obvious of him being a fellow orphan and sitting next to me for breakfast. So who **the fuck** are you to care?

"Who are you again?" I ask. It's rude, I know, but I can't be bothered to remember most of who these people are. They don't matter to me, and none of them bother talking to me, so I see no resourcefulness in knowing them.

Not when I still have the occasional headaches, prolonged stress can't be good for the brain, on top of all the pain I'm already suppressing, not healthy is it I don't know too much on neurology I took an introductory class in high school for a year and that's basically all I know but I know stress it's bad bad bad for brain cells-

"See? You don't know who I am! How are you going to know your mission?" He says. He's smug about it, I can tell. I continue staring, giving him nothing to use against me other than my silence.

_Seriously. I don't care about who you are. Nobody does. Knock it off._

I say nothing as I go back to focusing on my meal. It's a small bowl of white rice with a raw egg mixed in. A smaller bowl of miso soup. A small cup of water. Barely could be counted as a morning meal outside of Japan. I bite my lip.

...I need more food.

Since I've been working out a lot, I've been burning through calories like it's nothing. Recently however, I've noticed that I slimmed down a lot - too much, even. I barely have any baby fat left. This guy isn't wrong about that skinny part.

I need more food. More food means more calories which means more energy for my body, and I seriously need that energy if I want to keep up training.

Carbohydrates, protein, and fats - the three macro nutrients for the body. I want to go for carbs since they're the body's preferred source of energy, and protein maintains the musculoskeletal system. I also need more water and electrolytes, since I'm losing a lot of it in the form of sweat.

For the first time, likely ever, I need _more_ sodium and _more_ sugar. Naomi's diet, even in her time in service, always had a little too much sodium and/or sugar. Meanwhile, Hitori's diet has too little for my lifestyle. And if something isn't done about that, I'll get hyponatremia from sodium-deficiency and hypoglycemia from low blood sugar will eventually kill or hospitalize me. Neither of which I want.

Long story short: Exercise burns through a lot.

Aim: Get more calories and nutrients.

How do I even remember all this stuff? The last time I needed this was when I was 18 taking Nutritional Science and trying to figure out how to manage a decent meal, unless it was when I was in the ROTC program…

Irrelevant Conclusion: Memories are weird.

"-ri? Hey! HEY!"

"**Ta Gueule.**" (French: Shut up.) I frown at the boy.

"...Hmph. Since you're not going to be a shinobi and I am, you should know my name." He grins, arrogant, not understanding my French and not caring. "I'm Shinchou, and you better know me." The boy jabs his thumb at himself, smiling wide.

I force a yawn. "Mhm." I'm not tired, not really. It's just easy to feel tired.

I might actually be tired. Not sure. Does lucid dreaming have negative effects on your body by not allowing your brain to properly enter a status of unconsciousness? Can't say I know with how bad Naomi's sleep schedule was. No, when you awaken you don't normally remember your dreams, it's the memory part I should be worried about…

"You're just a baby," Shinchou taunts. "You can't be a shinobi."

I sigh. He sounds like a kid.

He is a kid.

I have years of experience on me, getting mad at a kid is stupid.

Yeah… But… If he's going to be this annoying, might as well make him feel as uncomfortable about it as possible.

(For the next half hour NOW t, I stare into Shinchou head while slowly eating my rice, visibly making him uncomfortable as he fidgeted in his seat, sweating nervously. The only times I break my gaze are when I switch over from rice to miso soup, then to grab the water. And to go put away my dishes for the older kids to clean up.)

I leave for the classes 5 minutes NOW t ahead of my schedule, waiting outside the door. A sudden thought comes over me.

_Wait, isn't Shinchou the guy who had a problem with me when it was raining?_

...I think so.

* * *

I finish lunch virtually alone in the corner of the room by the wall and head out for the library, deliberately making sure I sat far, far away from Shinchou.

His name sounds stupid. Shin and Chou both have several meanings, but if his name translates to something along the lines of "_gentleman_" (by taking Shin from Shinshi) and "_super_" or "_very_" (from Chou)... his name is wrong.

* * *

I can not for the life of me figure out what flowers those were.

They came to me 2 weeks ago via an assistant librarian, and in my confused frustration, I had tossed them into the forest a few trees away from where I trained. They seemed to be from a shrub, and from what I understood not native to Konoha nor did it have the potential to be an invasive species either, so leaving it to wilt outdoors or get eaten by some animal should be fine. I didn't pay much attention to it other than for the white almost rose-like petals and strong scent. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of flowers or being interrogated by other people as to where the flowers were from, so going without the flower to the orphanage was the best choice for me.

I should've paid more attention. Maybe then I'd figure what was meant behind those damned flowers. There's no point in trying to figure out who they're from, if a person wants to stay anonymous in a shinobi village they're staying fucking anonymous.

The book on the meaning behind flowers isn't in the public access section (there is one book for public but it's very vague). The one I want is in the Academy section. I'm not sure why there's not one in the public access section, and I don't exactly want to ask.

Even then, I'm not sure if the Academy section one is all that detailed. Besides, I'm not an Academy student, and I don't know how to use or maintain a henge of an Academy student.

Dammit.

* * *

I train today in the forest. Let's just say I fell and had trouble getting back up.

("_I've fallen and I can't get up!" Heh._)

I had difficulty breathing for a bit after I finished my run. Physical exercise can trigger asthma attacks. Dammit, all I need is a professional to diagnose me-

* * *

I think that I saw another ANBU today, this time hiding not so subtly on the rooftop of the orphanage.

It's bothering me. Partly because I have reason to believe that I, or someone else at the orphanage, or multiple people are being watched and I thus can't continue my outdoor training as a privacy risk, and partly due to the fact that the ANBU is terrible at hiding which is a potential threat to the internal security of Konoha. Are all shinobi like this? Is this one just being extremely obvious on purpose?

It could just be that I'm good at finding. Enough time in the military train you to be good at that, especially if you're a sniper or some other long-distance range type (like Naomi, a pilot), even if it's peace time. One of those many "just in case" measures. You'll find there are several just in case measures.

Would the ANBU use a genjutsu at least to hide themselves? Or maybe that attracts too much attention to chakra sensors. I dunno because _everything I fucking want isn't in public access-_

Look, there's a good hiding spot by that corner of the rooftop, and judging by the angle you can probably look out without getting seen. No, you'll have trouble leaving if you get found… in that case, hiding just above the pillar is good- wait, but you're a shinobi. You can just, um, what do they call it, substitute yourself out of traps. That corner _is_ good!

Unless you can't substitute yourself. I heard it's one of the three basic Academy jutsus though. ANBU person should be able to do that.

Pursing my lips, I sigh and retreat indoors. ANBU's problems aren't my problems. Besides, hearing the shrill screams of children outdoors makes me want to smash my head in. I allow my mind to wander as I block out reality, unconsciously making my way over to the showers.

...I should figure out how to do the stuff on my list soon, huh.

* * *

I dry myself as I continue thinking about how to meet my current major goals.

I can make contact with Naruto if I can just figure out where he is. Does he have parents? It's mentioned that he's an orphan, so I guess not. Is he in the orphanage? I dunno. If he is, is there more than one orphanage in Konoha? I think there is, it just wouldn't make sense for there to be just one. Is he being taken care of by someone else? Dunno. I need to figure this stuff out, and as quickly as possible.

I'll set a deadline. Deadlines are good at making me get things done. By the end of July, figure out how Naruto is faring. If good, then avoid him up until… Academy days. Since he's going to be there and it'll be impossible to completely avoid him then. Don't want to end up as suspicious if everyone else hates him and I come along with a request for friendship, so pretending I'm overall neutral about him will be more favorable for now. Might get to know him more later. In school of course.

I'm pretty sure there's some chakra beast hiding in him, and personally I don't plan on getting murdered by said beast (I don't even know what this so called chakra beast is, but I remember something about tails if that helps… it doesn't help), so I'm going to try to stay the fuck away from the emotionally unstable/unreliable part of his childhood/early years leading up until he's about 6.

If he's not good, I'm… alright, I don't have anything planned out for if he's not good, but I'm sure I can bring it up to someone who isn't an asshole and let them take care of it. Like an ANBU? Do ANBU step in if children are getting beat up? Shit, if they all hate him probably not… Fuck.

I don't wanna talk to the Hokage and civilians, from what I recall, hate him. Wait, but they'll all be incentivized to ignore him, right? Treat him like a disease. Fear him, but won't physically lash out against him, especially not with the chakra beast thing inside him. Chances are he's doing fine.

Still should check up on him, just in case. Then ignore him to focus on myself.

Uchiha Massacre. It relies solely on the fact that I somehow get involved with the Uchiha. I have yet to meet a Uchiha, anywhere.

None of them seem to go to the library - which is totally fair, clans all should have a private library, private training grounds, private… private a lot of things. Which is good for them, and bad for me. I'm not an Academy student either, so I can't interact any Uchiha from there. No Uchihas are orphans in the public orphanage(s?), thus have no reason to be hanging around this orphanage. Uchihas have the Military Police gig they run, meaning they probably aren't really ANBU.

I don't intend to get in trouble a lot to meet a Uchiha from the Military Police, so that's down.

I'll… put that off. For now. I may have a higher chance of meeting a Uchiha if I break away from my typical schedule, but that could warrant unwanted attention. And me getting lost in Konoha. Konoha is big through the eyes of a 3 year old.

It's fine, I have time. Until Sasuke is around 8 years old. I think it's 8 years old- shit, what if it's 6 years old? Augh. I'm not too sure. I'll still say 8 years old, just because it's buy me more time hopefully, and sounds a bit more accurate than 8 years old. I'm not sure when that will be. I still don't really know how old Naruto is because I've yet to find anyone willing to openly discuss the incident with the chakra monster or whatever to children, and I dunno if Sasuke is older than Naruto. Heck, I don't even know whether or not Orochimaru has left the village yet.

There's a lot of stuff I do know that's not entirely relevant to the storyline, but kinda relevant to the characters? Like some first names and a general idea of their clans/backgrounds. And some information regarding Naruto prior time skip.

To reiterate, I really don't know much. Plus the whole "everything I know about Shippuden part of Naruto is pretty much limited to something about a war, Uchiha Madara, and some rabbit goddess tree of life bullcrap". So y'know. I'm going to end up doing things my way. And figuring it out my way. Without fucking up too much for everyone else.

Is any of this information reliable? I hope so. If I get hung up on one detail only to find out it's wrong, I'll have wasted time and energy.

…Why am I even trying? It's not like I really care about these people. But then I'll end up feeling like shit cuz I did nothing when I could've done something… But I don't care…

Yeah, I guess I'm going to be doing this thing halfheartedly. Fuck me, I feel bad now. Guess part of me doesn't want to care but I do anyways.

Damn emotions. Child hormones. Ugh. These wouldn't exist if I had chosen to work in finance instead. People in finance are brutal as fuck, I swear they don't have morals at all.

I comb my wet hair (it's a bit on the long side, reaching around my mid-abdomen, I should get a haircut soon, and it's brown unnatural I hate hate hate it), thinking of other things.

Next point now. Academy. I'm not planning on joining the Academy until the important/relevant to canon characters do, or until after they're already in the Academy and I'll catch up to them. I don't remember what they're called collectively, just that it was a class full of clan heirs. By the time I'm… 6? Around 6, I'll enter the Academy. If 6 is the standard age for entering the Academy. It's probably around 6. I'm hoping it's 6.

I have a little under 3 years to get into the Academy and then I can begin actually learning chakra outside of personal trial runs. Before I graduate the Academy, as a small side-quest, I might want to set up a lab for testing. With chakra. On my three currently "favorite" organisms! Rats, fish, and plants.

Rats are good at reproducing quickly. Like, really good at it. My main problem with rats will most likely be population control. But that's good for me, because I have lots of mammal test subjects at hand.

Many fish are also reproduction machines. Not to mention how certain fish like goldfish (a hopefully easy to obtain fish) are tetraploids. That means they have more chromosomes than humans. This also means it's easy for them to mutate, so observing the process of evolution in regards to chakra in a short and efficient manner should be made more simple.

Plants, because plants are different from animals, and remarkably so with how they don't have anything even close to brains. They'll probably interact with chakra differently than animals or bacteria do. Information garnered from studying how plants react to chakra may be useful in my pursuit of understanding chakra.

I want to learn about chakra. The scientist in me wants information, reasoning. Chakra isn't necessarily energy, because you can't just use pure energy as fuel for fire (and what could be the fuel? If there's nothing but chakra and the oxygen in the surrounding air then _what could be the fuel I still don't know_), but it does retain some of the rules that energy follows.

Chakra is so… abstract. Chakra doesn't even seem to be able to be properly measured considering how flexible it is, and seeing how there's yet to be a unit of measurement for chakra.

How did humans come to be able to use chakra? Was it a mutation? An adaptation? Out of evolutionary necessity? What caused it? I want to know.

Cool. Nice. This will work itself out. The Academy thing, I mean. The chakra shit will work itself out too, but I'd say not for another few years. Not until I have a lab, and long after.

I wonder if Orochimaru started off like this too. Unless he's one of those insane people who just straight into human experimentation.

If that's the case, he would've loved World War II on the Axis Powers side. Germany and Japan sides of WWII were not nice (no human experimentation in Japan during WWII, at least not in the same way that Germany WWII was like… thinking about it already makes me want to puke. Nanking Massacre and Pacific POWs might've even been worse than the Holocaust and that's saying something). To be honest, I don't remember much about Italy to recall Italian crimes against humanity or whatnot.

I should stop thinking about war. _But there's a war coming soon in this generation what are you going to do-_

Nope nope nope. Take my used clothes with me, shove them in a bag, hand them off to the man over there, go eat dinner.

* * *

Some people from this orphanage are being moved out. Wonder why.

There are other orphans coming to replace them, though. Huh. Guess there is another orphanage around here. Noticed this since when I returned from my meal, some of the girls in my room were replaced. I hope they're not going to try to open my boxes, or worse, destroy them.

* * *

Mari, the lady in charge of this room, has begun story time today.

"Alright, since we all want to be shinobi-" She started. I zoned out right there, before my brain caught up.

When did everyone in this room want to become shinobi? I thought the girl bunking with me wanted to be a baker. She wouldn't shut up about it.

I glance at the girl next to me. She's new.

Realization flashes in me. _Oh. So that's what all the new kids are for._

…Explains why this orphanage is so close to the Academy.

* * *

It's two weeks later and the classes I started in the orphanage meant for 5 year olds NOW t have been reset to the beginning of the curriculum. They never learned kanji.

…This is kinda sad.

These classes are stupid. I'm dropping them. I haven't learned much useful there. (Also, Choushin or what's his name is now in these classes, and I'd like to avoid people who despise me for whatever reason like the plague.)

I know over 2,000 kanji now, thanks a bunch library. The staff doesn't practice writing it with me anymore, but they let me read a bunch of the more advanced public-access books and have free paper for me to practice writing on my own anyways. Something I heard about Hitori being so cute and dedicated to books or some shit.

Am I actually a bookworm? Did my internet-addiction phase kick in and make me like this? Not that it really matters since this is rather convenient, but…

…

…So, uh, these classes are useless.

I've been in that class for months now. Since September last year, actually. Most of the kids in there ended up turning 6 and going to the Academy last week, where they learn kanji there, and new 5 year olds came to replace them.

I can no longer handle the boredom, and don't plan on playing _house_ of all things with _kids_, and going to the library or the forest so early in the morning might be too suspicious, so I stay inside the shared bedroom.

Sometimes I'm meditating on my bed, looking out the window over my slightly crushed taped boxes (I haven't bothered to figure out who tried to mess with them and since nearly half my roommates have already been replaced I can't be bothered to care much), adding to my progress report notes which stay underneath or behind said boxes (not inside because if the boxes were opened enough for me to open them then the boxes would already be ripped to shreds by whoever has a bone to pick with me), and generally bored out of my mind.

When I think I'm in a safe position, I'll practice speaking a bit to myself (I already do it in lucid dreams whenever I get too bored with stuff like pretending to run around an empty track, but more actual practice doesn't hurt).

Chanting in Latin is always fun. It is. Sounds like I'm summoning something evil or whatever. Heh. It's funny.

Speaking Russian to myself, when I'm so used to speaking Japanese/Common now, makes my tongue feels weird. I have a slight accent I should fix.

English is familiar and I embrace it as it is. German is… German. French is French. There's still insignificant traces of a Konoha accent I want to eliminate with time, but otherwise it's mostly fine since they both share some similarities with English.

I mix up some words and phrases occasionally, sometimes due to the similarities between the three languages and the whole thing about being multilingual means you exchange one similar sounding word for another, or forget what one word means in another language, or sometimes there's no proper translation, and- look it's just kinda hard.

It's a bit concerning, hearing myself try to speak English and throwing in a diese instead of _these_ or a "_In _**actuel**\- _shit no in English it's uhhh, uh, uh, it's in… in actual? FUCK what is it what does _**actuel** _mean in English again… is _**actuel** _French or German? I think it's French-_"

I'm concerned. I have good reason to be concerned. It'd be funny if it wasn't concerning.

When I feel a bit more confident on certain days, I review science and math and history and all sorts of stuff aloud, quotes and people, time and places, stories from my travels around the world and from the internet. I'll get worried that I didn't write that shit down, then feel an urge to write it down, but I have no paper I can put inside my taped boxes so I'm left just scribbling the major points in whatever language I'm thinking at the time on the edges of the progress report sheets. Then I get depressed until I head for the library, where I may or may not be raiding their paper supply, but it's cheap paper and it's Konoha with big ass trees everywhere, I should be fine and the paper won't be missed.

I _am_ abusing the relationships I have built with the civilian some-volunteers-turned-actual-librarians for my own personal benefit, and I don't feel bad about it. Not at all. I don't.

Okay, maybe a little. But I offer to help out sometimes! Like, with organizing books! It's not my fault all the books are already organized!

Eh. Headaches aren't a serious problem. If anything, I think they're gone for good now. I think.

(Working at NASA has fucked over most of my thoughts with certainty, because that one time a single omitted byte in code screwed us over by destroying a rocket back during the Cold War and cost us over half a billion in modern USD meant we all got it drilled into our heads unless we can predict the future or have checked over everything some hundred times then everything we do right is only a hopeful probability.)

…Not important, but I should expand my vocabulary.

* * *

There is this one time - approximately a week after I quit those crappy lessons - I saw a girl walking into the room holding scissors. Normally people don't enter this room during the morning between breakfast and lunch hours, but I stay here since I don't want to play with kids and every other kid that sleeps this room does.

I don't know what she was going to do and didn't care, so I just nodded in her direction as an acknowledgement of her presence and continued trying to recall what I remembered from "A Midsummer Night's Dream".

It was mostly me going something along the lines of "_Lysander_ then falls in love with _Hermia_\- was it _Helena _or _Hermia? _I think it was _Hermia_\- and _Demetrius_ is ready to _duel _him over this, so they kind of fight and this wouldn't be a problem if _Robin_ or whatever his name was had just squeezed the _flower juice_ into the right eye!"

And it took me a while to realize I was speaking in a blend of mostly Common/Japanese and English.

Just. Imagine walking into a room just planning on cutting or opening up something, scissor in hand, seeing this roommate of yours who never talks to anyone just spout off utter nonsense about people you don't know, and then ending said nonsense with something about squeezing something into an eye.

The cross between oh-shit-she's-crazy and what-the-actual-fuck-did-I-just-hear is nice on her face.

"Uh, you can just ignore me." I said.

She nods, slowly, and backs out of the room, closing the door.

...rude.

* * *

It's the first day of April, and nobody is approaching me. At all. Not even the staff here. They all seem to recoil from seeing me.

I heard someone call me a freak today. I guess that's why.

I'm not bothered by it. I do however want an explanation as to why I'm now branded a freak.

Eh. Whatever. I need to go to the library now. I've recently dropped physical training in favor of meditation in the forest or walking around because I find myself repeatedly collapsing and one time nearly fainted (I don't have enough energy to continue this, how do I get more calories? I need more food, _how how how_).

* * *

I have a feeling I should be panicking, since there is absolutely no way I can be showing perfect chakra control. But the leaves stick to my forehead, and whenever I try to exert what I believe to be chakra from my forehead it makes them stick even more and then I struggle with getting the leaves _off_ my forehead.

This doesn't work with other parts of my body. The leaf still explodes.

I call bullshit. Ninja-magic is stupid.

…I hope this means I can move on to walking on water. I don't know where I can find enough water to walk on, and there aren't any bathtubs in the orphanage since they take up too much space and water. There is a major river in Konoha, but it's not anywhere close to the Orphanage.

I have a feeling there's supposed to be something else I'm supposed to do first, but I can't figure out what it is-

I may have to drop these chakra exercises. I think they're burning through my limited calories too.

* * *

Mid April. Today I've decided I'm going to stab- fine, I'm going to _injure_ someone with a very pointy object.

One someone named Naruto Uzumaki, since he's apparently the _asshole _who found unfortunate little me sitting under the shade of a tree by the Academy with a library book and _drenched me_ (luckily I was able to shield the book from the worst of the water; only the corner of the top cover is wet, and the ink isn't even stained, it's like magic. Or chakra).

Here's what happened:

I was kicked out of the library because one of the newer civilian volunteers there fucking hates orphans. Especially those born on October 10. (How anyone found out about my birthday and my orphanage status is beyond me, but I'm not going to look into it too much if the people here are going to remain unbothered about it.) Stupid, right? But she just hates them. I don't really get it, but sure.

Might be something her family has against "those child beggars living off our taxes ever since the Nine Tails" (her words, not mine). And she called me a demon, which I am relatively certain I am genetically a human, so. Uh. Maybe she needs to get her eyes checked.

The other people working or volunteering at the library just tried to calm her down, with one of them escorting me out to trying to put some distance between unreasonable newbie and me, and basically shoved a (new!) book into my hands telling me to come back tomorrow when the new bitch is gone.

At least there are people that care. I dunno what's _her_ problem.

I'm supposed to spend more time in the library too, ever since I decided to drop nearly all my physical training until I can manage a way to get more nourishment. I don't think the staff there mind me sticking around longer hours, judging by last week.

But hey, I'm kicked out and have nowhere to be in mind. So I decided, you know what, it's kind of sunny today and I don't want to tan or risk sunburn (why else do you think I hide in the forest? Because shade, and even if this skin is an _**ugly**_ Asian pale I'd rather it be more pale like Naomi had been than darkened tan or raw red). I sat under a tree in the shade near the library; namely the one by the Academy.

And there I was, sitting under a tree, minding my own business. Then a splash of water hits me and I'm just barely able to throw the book aside before the water reaches the paper, and I look up and blink, and there's laughter and-

"_Is that an orange shirt?_" I gape.

Yes, yes it is.

The boy - a shockingly young Naruto, by the looks of it - runs, laughing merrily, an empty bucket in his hand.

Now here I am, still soaked after staring into nothingness for a while, a book by my side.

...I know I said I wanted to check up on him, but not like this.

It's so strange, seeing a 2D character in 3D. Think cosplay, except, very, very detailed, and clean. (Naruto had some dirt in his hair though, so not precise on the clean bit.)

Nice to know that he's a troublemaker already. Guess he's doing alright. I wanna know if he's being treated well, though.

He ran by too fast for my child-eyes to recognize all the details, but… he has clothing. They seem a bit worn like mine, perhaps from playing outdoors a lot. Doesn't appear to be abnormally skinny, so I'd say being fed, relatively healthy. Looks about 3, or 4 years old, so I could be in the same age bracket as him, which I guess is good. He laughed, so he's able to feel happy - children should laugh. Nice.

Does he have friends or anyone to consider family? Not sure, and I don't want to be digging to deep in. I think not. I elect to ignore that for now. If he has them, good, if not, he's still young so I suppose it's fine right now.

Overall, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being might as well be dead and 10 being I'm living the best life possible, I'd rank him 6.75. He appears to have good self esteem, he appears decently well taken care of, and he's being let outside. Not poor, but also not rich. Not starving, but also not eating too much. Just enough for hitting the requirements to physically healthy, and add a bonus 1.75 for happiness.

Doesn't seem like he's being hurt by anyone, or abused, or whatever. Very, very good.

...Yeah, I should expand my vocabulary. Is this because my brain is limited due to being that of a child's, or is some other factor at play here? Do I need to crack open a thesaurus? I don't have an English thesaurus and dictionaries in the library are about as good as I'll get… ah, ahem.

In any case, number one is done. All that's left is my training. And the Uchiha and Academy issue, which I'll put off.

I'll go back to training eventually. I've already hinted at several times that I want more food for my meals, and by bothering the adults with complaints of "I'm hungry" over the past few days has led to minor success. My bowls are slightly larger, and it doesn't seem as though anyone else at meal times has noticed - which is great. Granted, there's less meat for me, but I can live without it. More food is more food, even if it means less red meat (I have fish, and red meat isn't the only source of protein, there's also tofu).

I did go back to physical training, but it's not as much as I used to. It sucks. I wish I could train some more, it helps keep my mind off other topics.

Hopefully the ANBU aren't around. I see them a lot more nowadays, unsure as to why.

* * *

They were around. I sulked in the forest and just walked around a lot instead of running or meditation, because that's suspicious for a kid to be doing. My feet hurt.

* * *

It's the next day. They're still here.

* * *

Since the ANBU aren't leaving anytime soon, I decided to instead practice my language skills some more. Indoors. Where there aren't ANBU. It feels safe in here.

I don't see any ANBU from the window, and my boxes cover up most of the window anyways, so.

"_Life sucks. These ANBU aren't leaving._"

It's just me complaining a lot to myself in mostly English and French, with the occasional German and Russian thrown in there. Trying to make casual conversation Latin feels strange and I don't believe I'll try it again.

Ah. My outdoor training will have to be moved to indoors, then, until the ANBU decide to leave. When I build up enough fat (difficulty: hard,) or get a better diet (difficulty: medium-hard?), and I can confirm that none of the other girls will enter here during certain hours, I'll start. Push ups and sit ups are easy to hide, it's the running I'm concerned about.

I should hang out with the guys more, they run around a lot. I could run in the orphanage outdoor or indoor courtyards.

But… my eventual return to chakra practice too… ugh…

Sorry, many plans cancelled until I manage to get around the ANBU. I'll just hang around in the library and shared bedroom a lot, there's not much else I can do.

* * *

I returned the library book dry after I finished reading it (I call chakra-BS). Bitch is gone. I read some more. I write a little. I go back to the orphanage.

This, I can already tell, will get boring very quickly.

* * *

Naruto's in the same orphanage as me.

When was this? Why is he sitting across from me? I'm confused?

And there are like 3 ANBU "hiding", 1 in this room and about 2 from the closed but easy to open windows. Look, I can see you guys, hide better.

I ignore Naruto in favor of studying at these ANBU. They all wear masks with this strange armor-thing going on, and their armor is so- so- useless. I bet I could make something much more practical.

I sigh. I choose to stare at the ANBU indoors while I eat my meal of miso soup, white rice, and bits of fried tofu and fish. Watching a grown adult feel uncomfortable is fun. Oh, he moved. Too bad, my eyes will follow.

That… sounded a lot better in my head.

* * *

I just fucked up, didn't I.

Damn my child-immaturity. I thought I got over this-

...right. Hitori's brain. Hitori is still a kid. I'm going to act like a child sometimes, even if I don't want to.

Fucking chemical reactions in the brain had to ruin my cover by having short term entertainment over watching some grown man be uncomfortable.

_I swear this shit sounds better in my head-_

* * *

"That orphan - the plain looking one - she was able to see us-"

"-we're using elaborate genjutsu, at least A Rank. There's now way a child should be able to see through it!"

"Did she dispel it?"

"No, she wouldn't have been able to. Besides, she just walked in the room with everyone else, and she _saw us._"

"Genjutsu immunity?"

"Without being in the Uchiha or Hyuga clan, doubtful, _and_ as a kid?"

"Perhaps it's-"

"Hard to believe."

"...It could be."

"Report-"

"_Hai._"

* * *

I don't see Naruto a lot. Just at meal times, and sometimes he's missing from those.

I don't see as many ANBU around either. And I check, everywhere, because I'm self conscious like that. To my understanding I'm not being tailed, so I should be fine. After a week from this observation and a 5 minute NOW t search, I deem it safe to return to the forest and continue my training (I have so much time I need to catch up on, _thanks ANBU_), while staying a bit longer for some chakra practice.

You're supposed to feel something when you use chakra, right? So when I use chakra to make the leaf stick, I **should** be able to feel it gathering up somewhere and going to my head. The issue is, I don't. I'm not sure why.

It's confusing, but I shrug it off. I'll write down that observation later. For now, I want to see if I can do any jutsu, even if I can't feel chakra. I can review the leaf thing either when I get my hands on a book or a teacher.

Hmm. The only jutsus I know I might be able to do would be… Henge and… it was Substitution, I believe. Clone is the other one of the Academy Three, though I don't think I could create a good clone without an understanding of how to split my chakra. Besides, there are so many types of clones, so the Academy one made from essentially near nothing is basically useless anyways (and how does that work that makes no sense you can't just make a clone from nothing can you **none of this makes any sense at all**-).

I know, I know. I don't have the hand seals for any of these techniques.

Well.

Fuck you.

Who said there had to be these **specific 12 hand seals** for you to channel chakra through for it to work? That's stupid, and anyone who believes that is stupid. You can do jutsu without hand seals, I'm sure of it. I don't recall if anyone in Naruto was able to do ninjutsu like that, but I know it's theoretically possible, and I don't particularly care if anyone else had done it or not.

Even if I need hand seals, I'm going to create my own hand seals instead of whatever bullshit "only these hand seals work" system everyone else uses. Because of course everyone uses the same damned hand seals. That's how people can steal techniques, they just learn your hand seals. I'll make my own hand seals with an entirely new construct of rules to abide by, and other people can't steal my techniques then. Sucks for them.

Pretty sure that the hand seals everyone knows aren't the only way as for how chakra is externalized. There has to be another angle to look at this. There's a reason why we have both Celcius and Farreinheit, you know.

Alright, NOW has just Celcius, and uses the metric system, and they're basically just not like the US in measuring things. I don't know what I was expecting.

Getting off track. I'm going to figure out the henge, without the hand seals.

I close my eyes, standing, my back facing a tree. I imagine myself as Naomi the researcher - at 5' 6", a short-sleeved collared white shirt, black leather belt and jeans, NASA's midnight blue colored sneakers, tired and tired and tired but smiling (_fake? Is Naomi real?_) - and I immerse myself into the role. I feel like I'm Naomi again.

_Hello. I am Naomi._

I opened my eyes.

Nope. No results.

...lemme try again.

* * *

Around three weeks later, I get… results. Granted, they're not the best results, but the results are still results.

I got the general height and clothes colors down by then. All that's left would be the details.

In another two weeks, I manage to henge into a relatively solid version of Naomi the researcher.

By late April I get down some of the minor details. My skin feels different, no longer as soft like Hitori (child body is still a child body even after physical training, and you don't really develop muscles until you're older anyways because buff baby is scary and unrealistic). I have defined abs and calluses. I can comb my fingers through my lighter hair. My skin is pale, but a different pale. There are all these little details that come to life and I feel like I really am Naomi again, after all this time.

(_But Naomi is dead dead dead dead dead. Am I Naomi? I am me. I am I. Naomi is me, but is "me" Naomi?_)

I try it with other people - Naomi the pilot, Naomi the student, Naomi the friend (**Naomi** Naomi _Naomi_), Naomi's father, Naomi's friends, several well-known people from Earth, several fictional characters. I become so many other people, and by the time the first day of May rolls around, I get down the visual part of the henge to what I believe near perfection.

I feel solid. It's weird, going from tall to short to tall to taller to short again. But it's solid. The clothes feel real. The small, finer details - texture of hair, how different hands feel when interacting with the world, walking - my perception of reality changes with everyone.

And sure I get stronger headaches whenever I try to be more real (add glasses and worsen my eyesight, then changing back to Hitori with better eyesight is not a good idea, but it sounded like a fun experiment at the time), but that's fine.

The person I like the most so far is Naomi. I was Naomi, after all. And Naomi has become me.

I can do a henge! Yes!

I mean, I dunno if it's perfect. Have to check if my back is looking alright, my face, and the minor-minor details. Can I remove clothes in a henge? What happens if I do? What do my feet look like in a henge? Does my chakra signature stay the same in a henge? If not, can I change my chakra signature when I'm in a henge?

Questions, questions. Ahhhh. They're for the sake of science and satisfying my curiosity.

I still don't feel anything whenever I use chakra. I mean, yeah, I can feel chakra exhaustion symptoms, but not chakra as it's being used. At best, whenever I pour my energy into a henge, I just feel a small tingle in my body and open my eyes and… boom. No longer Hitori.

It feels weird, in that exciting, holy shit kind of way.

I like the henge. Chakra is cool. (But how does the henge work? Do you alter the way light reflects on your skin? Do you physically change yourself? Is it manipulation of the mind/brain? Questions questions questions so many questions.)

I can't do a henge with my eyes opened, sadly, but when I manage sensory I'll get to fixing that.

* * *

I want to start sensory.

I don't know where to start. The idea was that I'd have managed to get a good grasp on chakra and chakra signatures, though it appears I haven't done that.

This one difference is probably what mainly separates shinobi from civilians. From my perspective, civilians know about chakra, know it exists, know that it's "essential for life". But they can't detect it. Shinobi can. I guess it's like when you breathe unconsciously versus when you do so consciously. Breathing consciously, you're aware of your breaths, the rise and fall of your chest, but unconsciously you aren't really aware of anything.

Of course, a theory is just a theory, and I have no proof of this. I'll have to try to apply this to myself, then. Regardless, I can't begin sensory until I figure out how to sense chakra.

Setting aside my sensory goals (and med-nin goals because I can not get my hands on a single textbook on said topic, they're all at least genin-level books and strictly limited because fucking everything ninja related in this world is limited), I should go into more ninjutsu. Should I try to make fire?

...I'm in a forest. Bad idea.

Lightning is… if I want to create lightning and strike a tree, I'll attract too much unwanted attention.

The other options include water, which is nice and all but how the fuck do I get water to gather together and form a puddle without either destroying my body (for water) or somehow messing up the forest by extracting water vapor from the air around me (which is just… no, it's too hard to filter out), water from the soil (might mess up the dirt) or water from the trees (could kill tree)?

Earth? Yeah, but that's basically just dirt, maybe stone unless stone is it's own thing…

There's wind, which, there's barely any wind around to be considered "windy" now, and because it's summer after May and June mean sun and summer in Konoha-

Wait.

Sun.

Sunlight. Energy for plants. Photosynthesis.

But I'm not a plant…?

No. I can work with this.

* * *

Sunlight is radiation. From electromagnetic waves.

How does one control radiation? I have no clue. Well, I do, sort of, and it involves very dangerous potentially lethal work I am not willing to risk (outside the point where I have no money to get materials I need, and several other boring points).

Electromagnetic waves, on the other hand…

Lightning nature, if it's electro-magnetic. Think small. Think waves, wavelengths.

They're too small, though. Wavelengths are seriously too small, too unnoticeable. I'd have better luck with filtering out water vapor from the air around me than to change these wavelengths.

If I succeed- _When I succeed, _I think it would be like perceiving new colors, since the naked human eye can only see visible light from certain waves, but infrared and ultraviolet light can be observed if you have the right resources.

My current goal is to see whether or not I can change natural, visible sunlight into both infrared (increase wavelength) and ultraviolet (decrease wavelength) light. And I mean actually change visible light, or at the very least filter out IR or UV light and direct it somewhere. I'm not quite sure what I'm actually doing.

They didn't teach me this shit in NASA while I was helping out with trying to figure out how to sustain life on Mars. I kinda wish they did now.

Wait, could I give myself cancer from this? Could I give someone else cancer?

Very dangerous trail of thought. Hmm. The most realistic answer is yes. _Fuck._

* * *

I give up. For now. No progress makes a very angry child (am I a child? Hitori is, and I must be Hitori), and I've learned my mistake with the tree incident.

This will work itself out… eventually. I'm putting off a lot of stuff. Future Hitori can deal with this, I'm out.

* * *

It's May, and rain falls down again. Just, not as much. And less frequently.

I steal an umbrella so frequently that the staff has decided they might as well give me one. The library staff I mean. The orphanage staff still avoids me, kinda. I mean, now I don't need to steal one to go outside for the library anymore.

I run around a lot inside when it rains, refraining from my regular exercise routine (because it's wet in the forest and ew, I'm not doing push-ups on wet dirt - also whenever it rains all the girls hang out since the shared room, and I'm not exercising with other kids watching me). Running inside means scrapes and bruises don't need to be hidden anymore, because everyone assumes they're from falling and sometimes fighting and whatnot.

At 3 and a half years old Hitori starts playing with the older kids, like the ones that are 4, 5, 6. (Choushin is there too, he's taken to calling Hitori a freak, which still doesn't make any sense, but whatever.) The 6 year olds are already in the Academy, and they flaunt their skills, their learning.

I'm not sure whether I'm trying to shove down horror or laughter when I realize there are only 3 hours NOW t of Academy classes a day, reserved for weekdays. Only _3 hours_, because everyone goes straight home to lunch and clan kids stay home to train, civilians stay home to play and study, and I'm just _broken_ by this weird rationalization.

There are kunoichi lessons after classes, but they're only on Fridays and barely 2 hours long after lunch.

Children from Earth would actually maim each other for a chance to get 3 hours of school instead of 8 a day. Sure, ErT time and NOW t are different, but the point is there's less time spent in school, and five year old Naomi would definitely murder seagulls for that.

Ahem. Eh… It lines up nicely with the classes the Orphanage offers to children, which is far too convenient. I'm not saying I'm not grateful for a chance to hear about the Academy from actual Academy students, because I am, but y'know it's kinda weird how well this is going so far. I thought someone would've busted my hard work and handed me on a silver platter to some antagonistic figure in the Naruto world.

Nevermind that, I hope I didn't jinx myself.

The Academy sounds dull so far. In your first year, you don't learn how to use an jutsu at all, so me trying to figure out Academy jutsus now doesn't matter there. There's just a lot of practice, training, and studying so far. Throw your kunai and shuriken at the center. Run 20 laps around the school yard. Name all the founding clans of Konoha. Kids, what's nine times three?

Sure, I could use the weapons practice, but otherwise? I'm basically ahead of everyone else in the first year. I've seen the Academy school yard before, and while it is a bit large, it's nothing compared to the amount of distance I can now cover in the forest. 20 laps? I'll be done in at most 10 minutes, faster if I figure out chakra body enhancement. The 6 year olds from the orphanage say that the fast kid in class finished in 7 minutes, and the slowest took around 25 minutes, so I'd be somewhere in the top or above average in the class even though I'm years younger. Katas and stances are easy if you're flexible, and I have good dexterity.

And studying. I've read almost every book available to me at the public library in Konoha (the only public library in Konoha from what I'm told, since books and scrolls are all handwritten and expensive, and printers for book-printing format don't fucking exist here but color printed photos from cameras have existed for decades and there's no jutsu equivalent of "copy and paste" so what the actual fuck I don't even know). I'd be insulted if it was assumed I didn't know basic calculus (and apparently geometry and basic trigonometry is the most advanced math this world has that I know of, I _**am**_ _**insulted**_).

To be fair to the Academy, it's not like shinobi actually need to know advanced math above algebra level. They're shinobi, they learn to protect and kill. That's basically it.

…On another note, my pride is going to be the fall of me one day, huh.

But I'm going to be stuck in a class with idiots still? Seriously? Man, that sucks.

For now, I play a strange devierient of _tag_ with these kids - most being guys, but a handful of girls thrown in the mix - and I pretend to get caught. It's hard, holding myself back enough so that it still looks like I'm trying to run, but not too much or too little.

It's not fun, but non-suspicious exercise is still non-suspicious and exercise.

* * *

There's a tap on my shoulder.

"Why do you want to be a shinobi?"

I blink. "Huh?" Some girl is frowning at me. I recognize her as… oh! One of my roommates, 4 years old. What does she want with me?

"Why do you want to be a shinobi?" She repeats. I raise a brow. "Why are you asking?"

She flushes, cheeks reddened. "Why do you want to know?" She demands. I'm confused, but answer her anyways. Not like it'll hurt to let her know.

"Because chakra is cool." I said. "And shinobis use chakra."

She nods, quickly walking away. Her face is still red. Is she sick? Strange.

It's 5 seconds later when another 4 year old tells me "We're both it now," that I realized she tagged me.

* * *

June arrives just as quickly as May passes, and the rain ends, and I've basically given up on the light experiment thing. I'm done. Light is not my forte.

I know I said earlier I'll put it off, but I didn't exactly stick to that. I revisited it.

Light is absolutely fucking everywhere. It's so difficult to focus on just a bit of light and filtering or changing that bit without the surrounding light rushing in to fix it back.

If this was a dark cave, maybe I could have an easier time with this. But nope.

Yeah, uh. Fuck this shit, I'm out.

* * *

Wait, what if this is because Lightning isn't my chakra nature? If a shinobi uses a jutsu outside their chakra nature, I read that it's a lot less easier to do said jutsu.

I don't know what my chakra nature is, actually. Huh. No chakra paper to confirm, and it might change with time.

Um. I'll set down fire as my chakra nature. This is the land of fire after all, so people born in this area are more likely to have fire as their chakra nature.

Maybe water as a potential second chakra nature? Surprisingly enough, water is a lot more common in this country/domain than expected, so it's the second common chakra nature (I don't know how it works, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it too).

* * *

Holy fuck, I just realized I'm older than _Kakashi_.

Kakashi was like, a teen when Naruto was born. According to the foreign Bingo Book I saw sitting on the table in the library (why was it there flipped on that exact page? Suspicious, dunno, can't really be bothered to care). It was flipped open to the page with Kakashi discussing his, well, profile. Age was on there. Kakshi's just barely a young adult, now, so he was certainly a teen when Naruto was born.

…So am I old, or is Kakashi young? (It's a mixture of both.)

Whoa. I don't know how I feel about this. Other than mind blown. Just… whoa.

* * *

Oh _**fuck me,**_ I just realized have to go through puberty again.

Well, I realized it earlier, but it didn't really hit me until just now.

Periods. Breast growth means bras. Mood swings. Shitty teenage romances. The emergence of being super sensitive to everything people say about me.

Fuck. Me. Not like that.

* * *

_It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts_

**Stop hurting.**

Stop.

(The pain is duller, just a bit, yet always lingering. The headaches are nearly almost gone.)

I still have headaches. Fuck.

* * *

I try to practice military workouts in my dreams. Astral projection hasn't worked so far, so I'm stuck in my lucid dreams with nothing to do but wander, imagine, and talk to myself.

I always shove myself into an empty landscape somewhere on Earth. When there are people around I'm reminded that they're not real Naomi's dead but I'm in Naomi's body I'm not dead Naomi is gone _is Naomi real_ and I blink and-

I wake up.

I dream of wandering, free running, reading books, parkour, flying, labs, graphs, big computer screens, clipboards, looking up at the starry night sky, working out, exercise, training.

I dream sometimes of sitting down and relaxing and close my eyes to rest-

And I wake up all over again.

(Blinking in lucid dreams wake you up. It's just one of those things you shouldn't do.)

(Does this apply to genjutsus too?)

* * *

For the rest of the summer, I follow a slightly altered schedule:

7:00 NOW t: Wake up for roll call. Get ready for breakfast, eat for around half an hour NOW t.

About 8:25 NOW t: Stay in shared bedroom for about 3 and a half NOW t hours.

12:00 NOW t: Lunch for an hour NOW t.

13:00 NOW t: Head to the library to read. Train if you think you have enough energy for it. Use the altered training regime.

Around 17:00 NOW t: Return for dinner, another hour NOW t.

18:00 NOW t: Get ready for bedtime stories, about 25-50 minutes NOW t. Spend this time doing nothing/relaxing.

19:25 NOW t: Curfew, but you can stay up as long as you don't bother anyone. Spend the next half hour NOW t or so meditating unless something of more importance needs attention. Maybe just lie in bed thinking aimlessly.

About 20-22:00 NOW t: Sleep maybe 9-11 hours NOW t for training in dreams. This time will decrease as Hitori ages since her body will require less sleep over time. More time awake means more time for meditation.

* * *

It's hot outside. I begin to carry my umbrella around with me at all times to avoid the sun.

* * *

I've read basically all the books available in the public access section. I'm not allowed to read anything else, so I reread books.

I steal more paper to practice writing, but there's no fun in that. I've drilled into my memory the kana and kanji.

Summer is long and aimless and oh so boring.

But Naomi would've had something to do-

Not Hitori.

Not me.

* * *

I exercise. It's all there is to do nowadays. There's not really a spark of any sort, no commitment to anything else, not when I've dropped nearly all of my chakra training.

I hang out in the library, no longer for reading, but because it's cooler indoors than outdoors and the orphanage is suffocating with idiocy.

I'd consider playing with Naruto if I knew where he was, but I don't and never do.

One time, I tried getting to the top of the Hokage Mount. I did get to the top, but there's nothing to see up there.

I stared off into the distance, eyes glazed over, not really processing the view, and returned back down.

* * *

Summer comes to an end, and relief fills me. It's freeing, somehow, to see it go.

The Academy kids return to the Academy. Everyone seems a bit more busy now.

I don't have much left to do, but exercise continues. I have larger food portions now than in the summer. This means I can go back to my original training.

It's a week later when I decide to add more to do. It's almost laughable, how easy I find the push-ups and sit-ups and running. I do more. I try to climb trees, scale them, jumping around in them. It's dangerous, but I'm looking for excitement in my life.

(Uncertainty develops into certainty when you're older. Hitori doesn't know about uncertainty, not yet.)

I stretch in ways I shouldn't be able to. It's nice to see myself curl in ways I couldn't as Naomi, but oh so frightening to realize the implications.

I try to do things with chakra, because chakra is new, and anything new now is stimulating, exhilarating, exciting.

I still go to the library, but just for the paper and new books. The staff there, I would talk with them if I knew how to approach them and how to manage a conversation appropriate for my age.

I'm more bored than anything at this point. There's not much for me to do.

I wish life would pass by faster.

* * *

September passes. It's colder.

I cough a lot.

I'm sick for a few days, marking the first time Hitori has been ill.

My body radiates heat, sweating profusely. Clothes cling to my body, and I stay indoors, drinking soup and eating rice and sleeping.

I lie in bed, wasting away for a few days, before I'm wasting away out of bed.

* * *

It's October 10 again. I'm four years old NOW t. I've now learned why people hate this day so much.

According to this drunk man I heard on my way from the library to the forest, 4 years ago, the Nine Tails Fox (chakra beast, as I've been referring to it) was released in Konoha. People are pissed even after all these years.

I was born on the same day as Naruto, in the exact same year.

Isn't that lovely.

Well, another birthday means another birthday gift. I asked for drawers- the locked kind. I was pointed towards underneath my bed, where there was enough space for both my boxes and a mini locked panties-and-sock drawer.

I shove both boxes under the bed (I would've done so earlier, but I didn't because I'm stupid). My pens and spare ink and loose and spare papers are now in the locked drawer. I'm keeping the key as a necklace of sorts.

It's a nice birthday gift.

I still wish time would pass faster.

* * *

October passes.

November passes.

December arrives.

...I'm bored.

* * *

It does snow in Konoha!

What the fuck was up with last year then? Climate change? A strange alteration in natural chakra influences?

Whatever. It's December now. Snow!

…Meaning everyone is outside playing in the snow. I step outside for a few minutes to breathe in the fresh, cool air, then return indoors after I just barely avoided an asthma attack when I forgot to breathe for a bit and nearly fall over some kid making snow angels in the process.

I think those were snow angels. I genuinely have no idea what he was trying to do.

Eh. Who cares? Snow is a thing, meaning… Snow cones.

I'm swear going to figure out how to get my hands on one, if it's the last thing I do this month-

* * *

They sell them at street vendors.

I don't have money.

* * *

Playing in the snow is fun, for the child-like brain. I like it, because it's different, it's new.

(Could chakra create snow?)

I am a scientist, above all else, but Hitori is not. Hitori is a child.

Hitori loves winter for the snow.

* * *

I miss Christmas.

Even though I never celebrated the holiday the same way some other people might have, with family and cookies and milk and Santa Claus and a Christmas tree and a fireplace-

I miss the traditional exchange of gifts, the struggle to get or make something someone didn't already have.

They don't celebrate Christmas in Konoha. At least, not in the orphanage. And even then, there's no origin for Christmas, so there'd be no reason for anyone to just decide to exchange gifts today.

Long story short, there are few holidays actually celebrated. Just some seasonal festivals and about 6 other holidays in observance.

* * *

December 28th.

Neji's father was killed yesterday when Kumo tried to kidnap Hinata. Everyone, and I mean _**everyone **_who has heard about this, is talking about it. Including the library staff. They don't bother hiding, likely thinking I didn't understand the topic being discussed.

Shit. So that's what I forgot.

Dammit.

* * *

I don't feel guilty.

Neji's father was going to die, and had I remembered I may have been able to prevent it.

But how? How does a child stop a murder without getting caught?

I… I don't know.

I'm sorry. (No, I'm not.) Even if I knew, there's a good chance I wouldn't have done anything. I value myself more than everyone else here, because Hitori is all I have left of Naomi - all I have left of me.

* * *

I have yet to meet a Uchiha.

It's January 1, a new year.

I've failed half of point 2.


	3. Characterization

…**can I mention how I don't understand how the Naruto-verse works, in specifics? Because I don't and I've now come to accept the realization that pretty much everyone is winging it. That's what I'm doing now (with bits of reality to help me because Kishimoto is, no surprise, contradicting himself on certain aspects of life in the Naruto world and I have a need to make sure everything is relatively sound). I'm sorry in advance if this isn't accurate. At this point I have no idea what I'm doing, so I think that means I'm alright.**

**This. This got a lot more attention than I thought it would. Uh, thanks? Especially to those of you reviewing. If you think something doesn't make sense or won't line up, leave a review or DM and I'll either have an answer for you later on or bullshit one to make it make sense. If you want to yell at me about the decreasing merit each chapter, that works too.**

**By the way, school starts this week and I am not ready. Sorry, please prepare for slower updates. Check my profile everyone once in a while, I post things on there regarding the next chapter.**

**This note is getting long. I'll shut up now.**

Chapter 3: Characterization

* * *

_Berühre nicht alte Wunden._

_From German to English:_

_It is not wise to open old wounds._

* * *

54 yaKe, or years after Konoha's establishment. January 1.

I'm not a fan of failure. Nobody is. Failure feels bad.

I don't like this feeling. (Does Hitori feel bad? Does _Naomi_ feel bad? I feel bad. Is it just me or-?) It's the new year, and I remain indoors (it's cold) as the children play outside. There's a festival somewhere in Konoha today.

I don't do much other than sit in bed and drink some warm water. The library is closed for the day, and there's still some snow left outside.

Ah. I think I should explore Konoha tomorrow, after the festival's been wrapped up with. At 4 years old, it shouldn't be all too suspicious.

…It's hard to sleep.

* * *

Hitori wakes up the next day, smiling, and after lunch walks outside with her lemonade yellow umbrella.

(It's hard to forget, but…)

(It's easy to wear a mask, isn't it? Hitori is a mask. Maybe Naomi is a mask. Maybe they're both a mask, or several masks, because everyone is wearing one, always. Are _you_ a mask?)

(How dramatic. Comedy and tragedy. Hitori and Naomi. Really, _how dramatic._)

* * *

I skip out on the library and training, deciding to instead explore Konoha for the afternoon.

Konoha is a little smaller than I would've expected. I can walk far enough to see the end of the village - rather, village walls. (What is this, Attack on Titan? Seriously, walls?)

The orphanage is located near the Academy and Hokage's office, on the opposite side of the main gate and near the walls surrounding the village. The forest seems to be less of a forest and more of a large collection of trees surrounding the inside perimeter of the village, mimicking a forest. I'll have to recalculate my estimations on area, and the population as well.

I found one river - the Naka river, if I'm not mistaken. It translates as _The River of Southern Joy_. I don't see how this is a river of joy, other than the fish here who might be supposedly joyful.

There are hints of other wildlife around the river. Plants, mostly, and some bugs and a turtle. I saw the shadow of what could've been a deer, but it could've just been a bird I scared off or something. None of the animals here seem to like me all that much, as soon as I come close they all seem to cower back. Fair enough, I'm disturbing them.

The source of the river seems to be from somewhere out of Konoha, and cuts into what I believe to be the Uchiha District before exiting out somewhere in the village.

If my understanding of how water filtration works is correct, a good chunk of drinking water comes from this river. Konoha likely does have the capability to supply drinking water through underground sources, though I have many doubts that Konoha's wells, if Konoha has any (which they should have, unless they use something else to get water from underground) are the source of all the freshwater in the village. If someone with ill intent wanted to bring down the village, targeting the water is a good place to start. I doubt the water filters are advanced enough to detect everything.

The economy would actually be a better target, actually, considering how weak it must be after the Nine Tails Attack. All economies in this world are pretty weak. Konoha because of the Nine Tails and other marks left from incidents such as the Sannin having all defected, Suna primarily due to the geography of a desert meaning nearly all goods have to be imported, Kiri due to shit foreign relations and internal unease, and Iwa is still paying Konoha for losing the 3rd Shinobi War - I believe they're currently suffering an issue with inflation. Ame is doing alright however it could be because of the industrial revolution™️ they're going through. All the same, they're tense with foreign relations, and getting any information on the inside is rough. Ame reminds me a bit of North Korea without the nukes and probably a bit better off.

Kumo is the only major shinobi village I see doing alright. Their military is strong, possibly the strongest. I don't understand why, but there are no doubts I can find out eventually. Economically, Kumo appears at the top among the rest of the shinobi, which could be chalked up to the shinobi forces being so good that people actually trust the security of the village. Security goes a long way. 9/11 is a nice example of how not having security impacts the economy.

The civilian based "lands", just towns, aren't much better off. They're an improvement from shinobi villages, yes, but either heavily rely on trade to maintain their economy or have a policy of isolation. There's not much to be said about them.

...I read some newspapers from the library after seeing someone with one. I wasn't aware of them for a while, but anything new worth reading is worth reading. (They have newspaper printing in this world for newspapers, but not books, the books are all handwritten, a huge _what_?) Newspapers are rather scarce, surprisingly, though with how tightly controlled specific information in general is in this world I'm not sure why I'm surprised.

Man, I feel like an old person now. I was born in 1995, we read _magazines_, not _newspapers_. And if people want news, there was this thing called TV. Not like I used TV much outside of the few Spongebob episodes I watched and whatever.

Eh, moving on. Shinobi seem to hang around the center of the village. This does make me somewhat hesitant to continue exploring around this area, in the fake forest, because it means it not-seen shinobi could be around here but I don't think I'll get into trouble for it. Might get myself put on a watch list, regardless Hitori is no more than a child with an umbrella now so surely no harm will come out of this.

(But _what if_\- **no**, it's fine.)

I try to avoid the central areas and especially the so-called Red Light District - less of a district and more of a back-end alley - of the village, but I get curious. There are lots of shops near the center, and many open stalls selling "fresh" produce (_fresh? __**Fresh?**_ _There's no way that fruit can be considered _fresh), goods from other parts of the world, and other generally miscellaneous items.

From my understanding, there is a brothel in Konoha. However, it's extremely looked down upon to be unfaithful to your spouse or whatever - which, fair - so the brothel isn't exactly a hot spot.

I've come to note that purple - and I don't mean a light lilac purple like seen with the Hyuga, but actual royal purple - seems to be rare, if it exists at all. Even in this world, such color may be a sign of wealth. Has no one found a way to chemically manufacture it yet? Or maybe they have, but aren't into the idea of mass-producing it? The latter seems more probable, though I suppose I've now found a market I can get involved in to earn some cash later on. Royal purple is an aesthetically pleasing color, I'm sure someone will like it.

Maybe when I'm older I'll get a side job dyeing fabric.

Going back to food, now - as far as I can tell a good deal of food, primarily fruit, is from the village itself, except it's not enough to sustain Konoha alone. Konoha seems to rely too heavily on imports, using shinobi as exports (using services in exchange for goods). Honestly, how the economy is even intact is beyond me. Er, how any economies are intact.

Buildings, for the most part are… alright. Not too close together, not too far apart. Just enough that a kid could jump around on them without much difficulty. The houses aren't exactly made to last - they do, I'm not quite sure how, but overall they're the kind of houses that should be torn down every 5 to 10 years and rebuilt. Shops and the like seem to be similar in this regard. Training grounds, though I've only seen one large one and perhaps a secluded smaller one, appear to be just flattened areas of the village.

I walk back to the orphanage, somewhat satisfied with the information I have gathered over the past few hours. There are still questions such as how electricity/energy production works in this world (chakra, unless there's something else at play), public transportation (does everyone really just travel on their feet everywhere? Doesn't it get tiring after a while?), and where the resources for things such as weapons come from (is it extracted from within the village or the surrounding area, or from imports from non-aggressive land?). The economist in me wants to analyze more, get a better grip on the current economic state of the village, however, I have time to further analyze this over the next few years.

Paying attention to economies is crucial for the welfare of the people. A country has to ensure that it is strong in economy, military, and public opinion. Things like technological development and foreign relations are a close second.

(It seems that Naomi skipping lunch all throughout high school to burden her schedule with as many classes - and then as many clubs - as possible was worth it in the long run.)

* * *

If there's one thing I've learned from middle school, it's that almost everyone is secretly an asshole. If there's another thing I've learned, it's to always expect the unexpected. Pop quizzes, I mean.

About the "always expect the unexpected" part, it still applies. Both things still apply, actually, but the latter definitely.

Like a girl by the name of TenTen (_I thought TenTen was the pig oh my god so the pig is TonTon and the girl is TenTen?_) coming up to me and proposing a friendship between the two of us since we're both, in summary, social outcasts interested in becoming shinobi.

Oof, that hurts. No, it doesn't.

I blink stupidly at my roommate (seeing as _oh no_ this is my roommate? A real character? As a kid? Wow. Just-) as Mari leaves the room. It's currently curfew.

Most of the other girls are, well. Doing whatever it is young girls between the ages of 4 to 6 are doing before going to sleep.

The 4 and 5 year olds in this room are kissing up to the 6 year olds in the Academy. Frankly, I'm disgusted by how the 6 year olds are already, ah, the correct term is fangirling, and over some guy in their class - a Uchiha, or a Hyuga, apparently. Mmm, that's nice, I don't care about that. Talk about what you're learning instead because that's actually useful.

The girls complain a lot about the school when it's not about "their" guy, and I'm almost relieved to see TenTen has some sense not to act like… that. Fawning over a guy, or listening to someone fawn over a guy.

I'm not sure why she'd want to befriend me instead of someone else her age. Don't kids want to be friends with people their age? Or maybe older than them? Could it be that she likes younger kids because they're usually more active? TenTen, if I remember right (_taijutsu - team Gai - weapons_) likes physical activity. Perhaps that's the case…

"Yeah, probably." I nod. TenTen grins at me.

Wait, I said that out loud, didn't I? Shoot.

"We're gonna be best friends," she says. "And we'll play ninja together, and-"

This. This is not the TenTen Naomi recalls. (She's only 5, of course not, what are you thinking-)

I dunno how friendships between kids work. It's been far too long since _I_ was a kid, and ever since I've been Hitori I've never once tried purposely to act like a kid, or taken care in observing how kids react. I never bothered to look into how friendships between young children work.

Oh no. _Oh no._

A small part of me hopes this isn't the same TenTen as canon TenTen, but said hope is fleeting.

* * *

Is TenTen supposed to be an orphan?

I'm not sure. Did they mention her having parents in Naruto? Dunno.

* * *

Okay, but actually, why the fuck does she want to be friends with me?

I dunno.

It's weird. Strange. Odd. Use any synonym you like. This situation is most certainly abnormal.

(…Ah, well, I don't care too much.)

* * *

TenTen is… tolerable. I won't say I enjoy having her take over some of my afternoons - all that lost time for training, for the library, for wandering around the village (which I'm not doing, because the schedule is the schedule and routine is routine and straying from that makes me anxious) - but she makes life a little less dull, less jaded.

She's not my friend. (I don't have friends. Hitori has nobody, Hitori is alone. Naomi hasn't had friends, hasn't had anyone around, not really, not since _no no NO stop thinking about them-_)

I've tried avoiding her, but she's persistent.

It's the kind of motivation every high school student wishes they have, the kind that gets your paper an A despite the fact it was done in class during the 30 minutes the teacher spent explaining said paper. I'm nearly jealous. Nearly, and would actually be jealous if it wasn't for the fact that this girl _seriously needs a hobby please stop stalking me_.

She says she's looking for someone like her to be her friend because everyone else has them now and the orphanage teacher says to make friendship her New Year's Resolution because friends are good for you. I didn't even know they _had_ New Year's Resolutions in this world.

So now I'm stuck with this girl. Who exactly have I forsaken to lead to, well, this?

It sucks. It does.

Her hair is short though. Now that I think about it, I'm practically the only kid in this room that has hair past my waist. It's annoying to have this much hair, however I've managed to obtain what is pretty much an elastic hair tie and keep my hair tied in a messy bun. It might not be an actual messy bun, but it's a bun and it's messy. You get the idea.

Damn, I really want a haircut. Looking at all this hair sucks, it's dark earthen brown not pale icy blonde and why is it still brown _disgusting_.

In a way, I've lucked out. If my hair were green or red or blue, I would've chopped off all that hair long ago (because such shades are unnatural and genetics in this world don't apply but they do with Earth, they always have, and things _make sense_ on Earth).

My head pounds again, because I'm thinking s_top thinking_ so many things at once and the brain can't keep up with all this it's linear consciously follows one trail of thought-

* * *

**P**_**a**_i_N_._

* * *

TenTen plays with the older kids, the ones maybe 6 or 7, who actually put in the effort to train. Namely males, all the females I see are still complaining and gossiping and they're _6 why are you like this_. Is this what 6 year olds are like? I would despise my 6 year old self for being so, so… this. (_Good thing Naomi was different then._)

I think I'm the only person of the same biological sex TenTen considers as a friend, she doesn't hang out with other females as far as I can tell. (I'm flattered _no I'm not._)

I've learned from spending some time discussing the Academy with the boys that they each have an allotted amount of money per month for buying ninja supplies. Kunai, shuriken, rope and the like. You start off with a bunch of ryo, the world's **only** officially recognized currency, to get started, and from then on get more money for minor things; books, new equipment, etc.

Where does this money come from? Taxes? Shinobi? I- what? How? What if you don't become a shinobi? Are you expected to pay back this money?

I have questions, dammit.

I don't hang out with TenTen much. Just during the weekends, between 8:25 and 12 ST. ST stands for standard time, it's the officially recognized version of NOW t.

I told her I'm busy after lunch and she was annoying about the whole "but friends are supposed to hang out together" so I threatened her with forsaking "our friendship".

Was it mean? Yeah, coming from a kid. Too bad I'm not a kid.

Hitori is. In all aspects but physical, I am not Hitori.

Our kind of truce is that she doesn't bother me on weekdays, which I can bear with.

* * *

I have no idea what my chakra nature is, but I've guessed fire so I'm going to proceed to figure out how I can create fire.

Fire is a process. "Fire" isn't matter or energy. Fire requires heat, O2, and fuel. I don't know what fuel shinobi use to spit fire, but I do know how to make a fire with wood as fuel. And here, hidden among the trees, there's lots of wood.

Assuming chakra is the heat source - and chakra is like energy, so I'm confident chakra could be - then I should be able to channel some fire nature chakra into some wood and cause a flame. Oxygen is already in the atmosphere and wood, but I can't be sure of the exact percentage. It might vary from tree to tree depending on the type of tree. There's also a bunch of carbon in a tree, which isn't too relevant to me.

I'm not using carbon from the branches/trees. The fire has originate from my mouth or else the gas will escape into the atmosphere. Additionally, if the fire succeeds it'll likely burn down the forest and produce carbon monoxide and I might - small might there - die from carbon monoxide poisoning. (I could die from other things too, but that's not the point.)

So, throw in some chakra, and it - the dry leaves and branches before me - should light up on fire. Hopefully.

Unfortunately, they do not catch on fire. Life isn't that simple.

Perhaps I'm not using the right amount of chakra. I don't know, because I'm doing nothing but hoping it works since I have no idea how to sense chakra, chakra is like energy, not energy, you can't sense or solidify energy, chakra is chakra what do you do to it to make it turn into flame?

Chakra does not equal fire. How do you turn chakra into a fire?

Fire is a process. The creation of fire from chakra is a process. What is the process?

Scientific method: question, background knowledge, hypothesis, experiment, data and analysis, conclusion, results.

The question is how to make fire from chakra. I have enough background knowledge on fire and a little bit on chakra. My hypothesis is that _if_ fire is a process, _then_ manipulating chakra in a way that it will turn into thermal energy will create a fire in the presence of a fuel source _because_ fire merely is O2, heat, and fuel. Currently conducting the experiment. How do you change chakra into heat?

Chakra is like energy, but it isn't energy. Think in terms of what you know about heat then.

(Why do shinobi blow out fire?)

It all clicks together, doesn't it?

_In theory, but not in practice. Why?_

* * *

Hitori makes a fire without chakra instead, lighting up dry leaves and branches in a circle of rocks. It'd be easier with flint, but Hitori doesn't have anything but sticks and stones here so that's what she uses. Friction makes the fuel and she holds the smoking coal within tinder in her hands, blowing on it so the fire grows. It's in a secluded area, between a few trees. She nearly burns her hands in the process and a stray strand of hair gets close to catching fire. Fortunately it doesn't, and none of the trees catch fire as well.

She puts the fire out with dirt before returning to the library. Maybe she forgot something that she read before, it's entirely possible with how much information she stores in her head that something had slipped her mind.

* * *

The librarian smiles back at me as I enter with a soft "_Konichiwa_", closing the umbrella behind me.

Hitori in the library is different than Hitori in the orphanage and Hitori in the "forest".

(There are different masks for different settings and different people. Why wouldn't there be? We're all like that, so very different for different people. Switching from formal and casual is so easy, isn't it? All it takes is to do it more and more.)

In the library, Hitori is a reclusive, shy girl. I suppose the impression would be "quiet, enjoys reading, a 'good' girl". They know I'm an orphan, and somehow my birthday, but no one cares and I don't either, not exactly.

I head straight for the books. It's a small library, but the public domain section has all the books I've read and the librarian says there's nothing new today, so I return to the old books after asking for a newspaper. Newspapers are weekly, and today is Monday, and I wasn't here yesterday to pick up the fresh-off-the-press paper.

(I've started reading newspapers since late December, and they're alright, if not questionable.)

The newspaper is held in my right hand wrapped around my umbrella as I reach for some books on chakra. There aren't many, most people who aren't shinobi don't use chakra (samurai are an entirely different subject and I'm not delving into that until I figure out some other things).

Open, read. All the books are from right-to-left, but keep the top-to-bottom. Right-to-left is fine, if only a bit different than my preferred left-to-right.

There's nothing new. Chakra is vague in these books. I sigh internally.

Putting the books back alone is fruitless, nonetheless I continue to try. I'm short, so it's hard. A librarian, I think his name is Araya, comes to put it away for me.

It's disheartening to see how useless I am as a child; I can't even put away a book without help. I resolved to grow taller when I'm older. Naomi was a bit tall, more like average, and it was alright. Being short is disadvantageous, you can't reach high places. I've grown rather accustomed to it (to being a kid) after all these years _**that's not the point dammit.**_

Open the newspaper and read. There's nothing much new; some updates on how glass trade is being handled between Suna and Konoha and it looks alright, a little advertising, the gossip section discussing a new pastry shop opening up near the village center, and a bit of opinion on how the Council is changing how laws are enforced. Budget cuts and laws and the like are public, aside from the specifics which are left out.

(It's interesting, because murder isn't illegal. It's not like much murder happens with the civilians in Konoha. They're all publicly aware of the militaristic society they live in, after all.)

A bit on statistics of shinobi and the number of missions Konoha has accepted this week. They're lower than last week, though not by much. Some discussion about the other countries, though it should be taken with a grain of salt. Everything here should be taken with a grain of salt, for all I know these could all be lies or misguided truths (and they very well could be, couldn't they? They don't publish everything, things are classified for a reason).

I finish the newspaper and return it to the front desk with a small smile again. I never bring any back with me, because it's certainly odd to see a child holding one, yes? Children aren't supposed to read newspapers.

Then again, children aren't supposed to plan out how to stop a revolution.

Oh, right. The Uchiha.

Haven't given that much thought.

* * *

I return to the orphanage as Hitori the orphan, thoughts swirling in my head.

There are multiple projects I have pending, and those I am currently focusing on. I have them written down somewhere among all my papers, though they're scattered throughout my progress reports.

The biggest project now is for me to stop the Uchiha Massacre. I'm quite certain I'll be enrolled in the Academy if I remain in this orphanage, as all the older orphans here are all in the Academy. I've already seen how Naruto is, and have chosen to avoid him for now.

How do I plan to go about this? Specifics, think. Meet a Uchiha, get involved in clan politics, blah blah blah, the end, peace?

Wow, that's unrealistic as fuck. How old was I when I made that plan?

It's fine, I have some time. Make a change. How do you make a change?

I'm 4 years old, so politics are out. Social change? Nobody will recognize an orphan so young. _Think._

I can't think of anything.

Dammit.

There has to be something. How? What to do-?

Wait. Look into laws. There might be something in there, right?

Yes. Maybe. Please-

* * *

Laws are compiled in books, however, they're all written in old political jargon. It's hard to find one, but the librarian at the front desk - Yoru - gets one from the back, where the dusty, kind-of-out-of-date books are. (I haven't touched those books since I'm not allowed to enter past a certain point of the library.)

(You enter, and there's public books for everyone, then Academy, then genin in the back, and chunin and jounin books might be hidden somewhere? And all the way in the back is where old, specific books are, perhaps?)

I don't do politics. Politics are messy and filled with too much deception. I didn't work in intelligence, and I was well aware that everything I do will be publicized one day (personnel files become archival 62 years after Airmen are no longer military personnel, and NASA does reveal their research for public eventually).

Honestly. Shoot the twat who decided that writing laws had to be done like this-

* * *

There is nothing. Absolutely nothing turns up that I can use to aid the Uchiha from destruction (from death, from near extinction). Everything I find seems to instead support their doom.

You know what? Fine. Fine. I'll figure something out eventually.

Life may be deterministic but Chaos Theory does exist, and the multiverse probably exists because Hitori can exist and Naomi must have existed at some point in time, and I am here so I can do something right-?

(Yes and no.)

* * *

Go to the forest. Take your mind off of things with exercise. Climb a tree or something. Climb down and figure out the fire thing.

Why do people blow out fire when using chakra to make it? Well, you can blow out cold and hot air. So, blow out hot air, and that's technically thermal energy, yes?

Um. Not exactly.

Ugh. Thermal energy. Kinetic. Movement.

Make the air move faster?

...perhaps. I'll try it out.

In front of me are a bunch more dry leaves and branches surrounded by rock. Snow had melted early in the month, and rainy days have yet to come.

I can make fire. I can do this.

I blow on the leaves and _this is so stupid_-

It doesn't work. As expected.

Try again tomorrow, it's getting dark.

(The fuel is right there, I have everything so put it all together.)

* * *

I get what might not be _**the**_ answer, but _**an**_ answer about 3 weeks later lying in bed, frustrated by failed attempts to create a fire from chakra.

I'm going over what is flammable - wood, obviously, coal, ethanol, kerosene, gasoline, and some gases like methane wait _waitwaitwait_-

_Hydrogen._

Shit. How could I miss this? (Because I do better in bio than chem, but I need chem now, not bio, not yet.)

I work(ed) in NASA. We had a bunch of protocol to make sure the International Space Station wouldn't catch on fire accidentally. (The ISS is expensive as fuck, okay, if it catches fire that's some hundreds of billions of dollars out the window.)

There was also the whole thing with how in the military, MREs couldn't be eaten in the aircraft since it'd release hydrogen upon adding water to the Flameless Ration Heater and we could start a fire. The people back in the labs were working on an air-activated FRH, weren't they? Think so. Not the point.

How can you get hydrogen? Natural gases, coal, _water._ (Methane too, it's more cost-effective that way, but methane is… a bit harder to obtain. For now. From what I know, at least.)

Work out the chemistry.

Electrolysis? You need shit to do that though. I don't have shit to engineer with, not yet, and I don't want to wait.

Serpentinization? No, no rocks. That's a geology thing too, geochemistry at best. I'm rather clueless on that.

Radiolysis? I need radiation to play around with, and I don't yet understand how to do it safely.

Chemosynthesis? No chemicals to play around with, except the ones readily available in the atmosphere and if it was that easy I'd have the fire long ago.

Use chakra to split the water…?

It makes sense now. Sort of. Why shinobi breathe out fire - you lose water as water vapor when you exhale, turn that water into a bunch of hydrogen and oxygen and add some heat from chakra and get the right amount and you have _fire._

This realization makes me feel giddy inside (this is so stupid I'm going to blow up my mouth but not if I _do it right_), and I add the information to my report and lock up the drawer (there's so much space in there, I can put so much paper in here if I organize it).

I fall asleep and train some more in an empty mind space of my own, talking to myself about how to create fire.

* * *

It's Saturday. First Saturday of February.

I have to hang out with TenTen for the afternoon. We're probably just going to run around a lot and I'll spend the day feeling like I want to die (_wheezing in pain __**fuck I need to breathe**_). Can't try anything until Monday.

* * *

It's Monday! The agonizing pain of waiting is over. I can work on making fire! I don't know how to do it, but _goddamn_ I am going to figure it out. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'll bullshit my way through it.

Water vapor is a gas, so it's a bit more difficult to work with, but it'll be easier than last years attempts with sunlight. At least I'm working with something that matters. Heh. Get it? Water vapor? Matter?

...I'll shut up now.

But yeah, it actually has mass compared to sunlight, which is. Uh. Yeeeeeeah.

There's a small collection of dry leaves and branches surrounded by rock in front of me, again. I plan on fueling a fire with these after making it with my breath.

I'll be breaking down water on an atomic level. Hooray. It's fine, I'll manage. Maybe. Potentially. I'll see.

A concentration of 4% hydrogen is enough to be flammable. It'll quickly disperse, so I need the wood here to serve as proof.

Hydrogen fires have pale blue flames and are hard to see during daylight, so I have no idea how people manage the typical red-orange fires. However, I'm working on making a fire right now, any fire, I'll get to the specifics later.

Step 1: Figure out how to get that much hydrogen (water, actually) present in my mouth.

Step 2 is harder.

Step 2: Turn that H2O into H and O.

Then there's the next step…

Step 3: Blow it out with some chakra/heat.

And the result is fire! Well, the result would also be water as a by-product, but whatever.

Fun fact! Water is technically already burnt, that's why you can't burn it. Shout out to all those comics where people who couldn't cook burnt water, because _ha no._

Anyways. Step 1.

…It's easier said than done, huh.

* * *

I'd use methane, but 1: how to get? and 2: dunno how to get that in my mouth in large concentrations without something going horribly wrong (namely asphyxiation), so hydrogen it is. I mean, things can go wrong with hydrogen too, but _look just it's easier to use hydrogen okay._

It's hard. Really. Gather water in your mouth, or some form of moisture. All I'm getting is saliva.

It's mainly water, yeah, but there are things in there and you know what, whatever, fuck this.

Take the water from saliva, turn it into H and O. Two hydrogen atoms, one oxygen atom. (I can't sense shit on an atomic level! I have no clue what the fuck is going on!)

Aughhhhhhh. I- ugh- um- I'm going to try something, and if it doesn't work, I'm going to try another something, and keep trying until I get something.

Please don't injure me. Please don't disfigure me. Please don't explode in my mouth. I have no way of explaining that to the iryo-nin. Med-nin. Same thing.

* * *

There are no explosions, which I'm happy about, but there are a lot of close calls where I might've choked and died or something.

Scratch that, I choked on air just now. Gimme a sec.

* * *

Two weeks later, I complete step 2.

I think I did, at least. I dunno, but my mouth suddenly has less moisture and _I don't fucking know but it was _**strange** oh my god I did it! I didn't think it was even possible, but oh my god, yes-

In my surprise, my mouth opens and the hydrogen and oxygen depart from my mouth.

…Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

No, it's alright. I just need to do it again, and bring up to the right concentration, then heat it up with chakra. WIthout burning my mouth- keep some moisture in there to prevent killing the cells.

* * *

**I FUCKING DID IT.**

I grin stupidly at the fire in front of me.

I couldn't see the hydrogen fire because daylight hours, but there is a red-orange flamed fire here before me started by the hydrogen fire.

HA. HAHA. _This bitch fucking did it._

I remain uncertain as to the chakra specifics, but whatever. For now. The universe works in mysterious ways. It appears water remains as H2O in this world, and similar physics apply. I genuinely don't know how I did it, in detail, but eh. I'll figure it out later.

I might actually be a fire type! Not- not in the Pokemon way or whatever. Chakra nature! Hell yeah!

* * *

It rained today. No training, I'm going out to the library.

I really hope they have more books. Not the ones in the back, those are old and I'd really rather not read them. They're dirty.

(And I grew up being told to wash my hands before and after every meal, which I do, so.)

* * *

They have 1 new book, but I'm not allowed to read it.

It's in the restricted "adults-only" section, from a series called Icha Icha. (I wasn't aware there was a restricted section, but it makes sense. It's hidden in the corner near the genin books, so I guess that's why I never noticed it.)

_Icha Icha Baiorensu._ Make Out Violence.

The fuck? Sounds kinda rape-y. I don't think I want to read it-

Eh? Eh? Why is that guy over there taking it with him? Why is the librarian giving him a thumbs up? What?

I think I overheard "bondage" in their conversation. Huh?

Could it be the book is… erotica?

What with the name though? Make Out Violence? It's giving off strange vibes.

Araya-what's-his-name must've seen me see the interaction, because he scowls at the guy at the desk and hands me a random book that I've already read maybe 3 times.

* * *

TenTen fucking tackled me. We're playing Shinobi Tag today or something like that, and this is her idea of going easy.

Dude. Kid. Whatever. Not cool.

I fall to the ground, trying to breathe again, before getting up to glare at-

Annnnnnd she's gone.

* * *

Ok. Back in the forest. It stopped raining yesterday, but the ground is still on the wet side. I had a light run as I pondered my relation to chakra.

I know I can make fire, so there's the potential I'm a fire type.

But could I also be a water type? It's not exactly common to have contradicting chakra natures, but, eh…

Maybe?

I'm going to try.

The ground is moist, so it shouldn't be a problem if I try to extract water from it. Sure, I could take it from the water vapor in the air, but it's all over the place so… yeah.

* * *

Three days later and a fuckton of bitching and complaining to myself, and this prick finally did it.

Er, kinda. It's not anything impressive, merely a small pool of water, just enough so you could tell it's water there, gathered before my feet, but it's good enough! Results are good! It's progress! Progress is good!

I'm so proud of myself, ha-

I fall on my face.

Ouch.

Why can't I move? Oh, wait, is this chakra exhaustion? Yep. yes, chakra exhaustion.

Yeah, I'm kinda tired… But I can still think a bunch.

Huh.

Eh, my head hurts a bit now, so I think I'll just take a little nap-

NO! I have to return to the orphanage! It's getting dark again! I don't want to fall asleep here!

I grab my umbrella (which I dunno why but I always have it with me now whenever I go outside) and I force myself to get up and move.

I'm going to take a nice, long shower.

* * *

I let down my hair and frown.

It's less outlandish to see, but it still feels _wrong._

The shower room I use doesn't have a mirror in it, which I'm grateful for. Actually, I haven't seen a mirror for a while now.

I brush my hair with a hairbrush (and it's quite strange, because I'm used to combs, Naomi touched a hairbrush so few times in her life).

Yeah, uh, shove those memories away.

I groan as I struggle to untangle a knot in my hair.

When the fuck are haircuts again?

When I finish, I strip and start to shower. I've grown accustomed to the showers here, but the water is always warm. I like it cold. Sure, I can change the settings a bit, but not enough so that it'll be _cold_ cold, y'know? Well, I guess it's for the best, I might end up sick or something.

I've grown accustomed to many things, but the lingering _wrongness_ of it all never quite fades.

* * *

I eat dinner with relish. (Not the condiment.)

God, the food here is pretty shit but after how tired I was among the trees it tastes amazing.

* * *

TenTen is ranting again about wanting to be an amazing iryo-nin like Tsunade.

Which, uh, sure. I nod and pretend I'm listening, which I am, but I can't be bothered to care much, if at all.

(I don't exactly see TenTen as a friend, or if I'm going to be extreme, I'm not sure if I even see her as a person. She's always been that kind of background character to me. Not what you'd call impressive, or friend-worthy. TenTen doesn't move the plot forward, and I can't remember much about her as Naomi other than Team Gai and weapons.)

I confuse her with TonTon occasionally. Goes to show how much I give a shit.

"-Are you paying attention?" She asks suddenly. There's a small frown on her face, and I blink. Huh. This is… different than usual.

"Yeah." I said. I technically am. Did I process what she was saying? Er… kinda. No.

"Then what was the last thing I said?" She interrogates. Her voice is stern.

"You asked if I was paying attention." I said.

"Before that!"

"Well, you did talk about being like Tsunade-"

"No! After that!"

"Uh, am I paying attention-"

"I mean before asking you that question and after Tsunade!"

"...you mentioned… I think it was tofu?"

"...it was _tonfa_."

"Oh. Okay."

TenTen sighs, and looks at me, a serious look on her face. Kinda funny coming from a kid. "Hitori, are we really friends?"

I blink. Yes, unexpected indeed. "Well, what do you mean?"

"You never- you never look like you're actually listening to me, and you're never really nice- I mean, nicer to me, even though friends are supposed to be like that, nicer to each other." She says. "And whenever we play, it always makes me feel like I'm making you play with me, and I don't like it, cuz you have to have fun when we play too."

How mature of her. How… observant. Kids don't exactly recognize these things, do they? Could be due to environmental factors in child development.

"TenTen, I am listening," I said.

(Craft a new mask. Play the friend, Hitori. _Remember 1984; doublespeak._)

"I do listen, but I tune out sometimes because I can get distracted." I explained. "And I'm not really nice to anyone. Dunno how it works. You're basically my only friend here." Questionable, could-be-lie, could-be-truth. Not like a child would be able to tell. (I don't talk about the playing thing, but TenTen doesn't appear to notice so it's fine.)

She flushes. "R-really?"

I nod. "Yep." I grin (and it looks natural, doesn't it? TenTen grins back so it must be).

"Good!" She exclaims. "Cuz Shinchou says you're not really friends with me in class yesterday, and Reiko said it's cuz you're always somewhere else when I'm looking for you."

Wait. Hold up, hold up, who and who?

"Who's Shinchou? Who's Reiko?" I asked. I don't fucking know. How the fuck does he know me? How the fuck does she know me? Actually, how does anyone know me? Last time I checked - which is admittingly a long time ago, now that I think about it - I thought my rep here was as some kind of freak or something.

Tenten gives me a funny look. "Shinchou is the really, really popular boy. Some of the girls think he's a little cute, but not me. Reiko is one of those girls who likes Shinchou, and she's also our roommate."

"...okay." I said. Do I lack social awareness? How did I miss this? Did my reputation around here change?

Dammit, what the fuck? Wait, isn't TenTen like 6? Shinchou and Reiko are roughly the same age as TenTen, so they should be around 6 years old too. Can you be popular at the age of 6? Can you develop a crush that young? And how do any of them know me?

Huh? Wha?

I stray from the topic as TenTen proclaims we play a game with some other kids.

It's Shinobi Tag again.

(Running is still exercise, it's fine, the struggle lies in trying enough but not too much.)

* * *

The end of February arrives swiftly, and March has come.

Tenten is ecstatic, because it means going to the Academy this month, and her birthday is on the 9th.

I think I'm supposed to give her a gift. I'm probably make something last minute out of paper, because there's not much else I can give her.

I don't recall how to make anything impressive with paper.

…hit the books? There's an origami book somewhere, and I should be able to craft something.

* * *

March 9. Today is TenTen's birthday.

"Happy birthday," I said. I gave her three badly made paper cranes in a paper boat as a gift and went on my way.

She held me back in an attempt to choke me - no, that's not a hug - and showed me her _oh my god you got kunai?!_

She has weapons. Sharp, pointy, weapons. A set of 12 of them.

This is. Not ideal.

Fuck, I want one. Should I steal one from someone? No, it'll get confiscated and I'll get in trouble if I get caught. Besides, nowhere to put them. Not enough space under my bed, it's all for paper.

Uh. Compliment? "They look nice," I said.

"I wanted senbon, cuz iryo-nin use them," she said. "But Mari said no because someone might get hurt, which is stupid because someone could get hurt with kunai too, but she said someone might get hurt and not see it cuz senbon are small but kunai are bigger than senbon and standard anyways, so," she shrugged.

...okay.

Sometimes I really wish she was more like canon TenTen. This is one of those times.

TenTen continues to ramble about iryo-nin and I nod because sure, that's probably not going to happen yet who am I to crush a kid's dreams?

Hitori the friend isn't mean to TenTen.

(I am a little… annoyed. Be as that may, I say nothing and smile and nod.)

* * *

It is currently March 17th. TenTen officially goes to the Academy, hooray. She'll be too busy training to play with me anymore, which means I can drop the friend charade.

…not. She still comes by on my weekends to drag me out with her to play, except now she has kunai and shuriken and rope and she bought her senbon so it's just me watching her with target practice, sometimes also participating. I like the target practice time, though her aim is considerably better than mine is.

She told me they have an obstacle course in the Academy, too, which I really want to see.

In other news, I'm back in these boring ass classes, which I've already taken and I already know more than enough to start at the Academy. Can't I put in a request to go there? No?

I thought these classes were for 5 year olds only, dammit. Nope, if you're 4 you can also be dragged into these classes. Really just depends on what year you're going into the Academy. I'm going next year, huh.

TenTen is a year ahead of me, and was also a year ahead of Naruto. That would place me in the same class as Naruto.

Funnily enough, I realize rather quickly/slowly - Naruto isn't here. Which is strange, but maybe he's been transferred to somewhere else? I haven't put much thought into where he might be, too focused on myself to care about him. I know he seems like he's been doing alright, so… eh.

Oh yeah. And another shinobi stopped by sometime a while ago to ask us if we all wanted to be shinobi for Konoha. Is this an annual assessment? Seems like it, they asked this question last year. Some people got moved out again, new people transferred in, but overall most people stayed.

But, well. I'm wasting time here.

We're learning to count all over again. Ugh.

* * *

March 27th.

Today would have been Naomi's birthday. Huh. I haven't exactly acknowledged that, have I?

Had Naomi lived, she'd be 29 years old. Not accounting for adjustments due to differences in times.

(There's a good chance she could've found someone to settle down with and moved on with life, maybe something else too-)

"_Happy birthday to me._"

Naomi- she didn't, didn't really… celebrate her birthday. At best she'd go out for some drinks - because the bar was happy, and she could be happy surrounded by happiness, if only for a while - but she was alone so it never was fun. Then there was the whole thing with how she got most of her genetics from her father's side and was practically immune to the effects of alcohol. Explains why she'd never become an alcoholic.

Hitori goes to her classes, and walks into the library to read a book she's already read before leaving. She doesn't do much but walk leisurely around in the "forest" behind the orphanage and I spend that time looking back on old memories trying not to feel like shit. I sing a bit too, in my head, before I'm reminded of-

I blink away a few silent tears as the lyrics to _AJR's Karma (wasn't it Elvis Presley before?)_ fade from my thoughts. Huh.

Naomi feels sad. I'm not sure if I feel the same way. And Hitori doesn't feel anything.

And this is why I shouldn't think so much on the past, look towards the future, Hitori-

* * *

It's a very subtle shift, but you can do it too. It's not exactly acting, there's no script in life, but it is changing who you are. Akin to attitude altering.

Change masks.

They call it classical acting, yes?

* * *

March 28.

I saw an ANBU today. It was just a small glance up in the trees, and it would've looked natural had the camouflage been a bit more, ah, wood.

She looked like she was watching me.

It was awkward. I haven't seen ANBU for a while, and I don't think she was supposed to get seen.

Wait, wait, wait. What if the entire time I've been stalked by ANBU?! It's entirely possible- uh, I don't think the Hokage cares that much about little old me.

ROOT then? Er… the old man there probably gives no shits too.

Ah… OROCHIMARU? Does he know I'm a reincarnation? Maybe it's some other person who wants to get his hands on me-

_NOT IN THE SEXUAL WAY. MAYBE._

Shit. Um. I'm nothing special. I'm just another 4 year old orphan. I can do a little bit with chakra, I can read and write kanji and kana, my physical capabilities are just above average, I'm away from the Orphanage a lot…

I'm not helping my case, am I.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Dammit. What if I was being watched the entire time? It's not like I'm doing anything illegal though, so I think I'll be okay if it's the Hokage. ROOT and Orochimaru and whatever, um. I could be taken away and become a puppet on a string, which, no, shit, what the fuck, um.

(I'm not a firm supporter of free will, but I do think people should have a role in making their own decisions.)

Eh, uh. Make a choice. What am I going to do?

(...nothing. I'll do nothing. If something happens, it happens, and it's out of my control. What can I do? Nothing. I'm fucking helpless. Everyone and everything here can easily kill me, and what can I do to stop it?)

(Useless waste of space, am I? I'm not even supposed to exist. I'm supposed to be dead.)

The ANBU/ROOT/spy operative is gone, and I scan the area to see if others are there. No.

The adrenaline leaves and with it goes the somewhat serious-calmness mentality. I'm tired. There's nothing I can do here, is there?

(The thought weighs heavy on me.)

(I'll go back to the library today.)

* * *

"ANBU Cat. Orphan Child, Report 4: have been sighted. Target displayed no use of chakra according to sensory. Approximate observation time: 24 minutes, 3 seconds."

"Did you see anything new or out of the ordinary?"

"Other than having been found this time, negative."

"Very well. Take a break, Yugao."

"...Hokage-sama, may I ask you something?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"Why have I been observing this girl for the past few days? Outside of rapid child development - which is rather normal for prodigies - and a seemingly regular exercise and library routine - again, could be due to the prodigy status - she displays no specific characteristics that may have garnered your attention."

"Did you read her file?"

"I read what was available to me."

"...she has potential genjutsu immunity."

"She has _what._"

"You know how it is. I don't want _him_ to take her, so please continue observing her tomorrow, ANBU Cat."

"..._Hai._"

* * *

"TenTen, is school really that hard for you?"

She flushed. "N-no. Math is just hard, and you're really good at it."

I sighed. It's been two days since I saw the ANBU, and I've been hesitant to go in the forest now. (I did yesterday, but didn't use chakra or exercise as much. It's more like a "run around and pretend to have fun while looking for people in the trees" thing. I've seen a few people, or just a single person, pop up here and there but they don't linger, so. Can confirm I'm being watched.)

(And I'm not doing anything about it, what could I do? Tell someone? Nobody would believe me, and even if they did, it's not going to end as great for me as I would like.)

The library is fine (safe), since all I do is sit there and re-read books or newspapers (you can see who comes in and out). I've only wandered around Konoha once in January, and might do so again some time later. If that later exists. (Would rather I'm not being watched but I am so please be ANBU if you're not ANBU I'm screwed I don't want to be a ROOT operative or test subject please be ANBU.)

Following a schedule is easy. Weekdays: Wake up, food, class, food, wander forest/library, return, food, story time, sleep. Weekends: Wake up, food, TenTen, food, TenTen and co. and training, food, story time, sleep.

Turning my attention back to the paper TenTen holds in her hands, I take some scrap paper she has and show her how multiplication works, again. "It's like addition."

"But you have to add it so many times!" TenTen whines. I sigh, again.

Ever since last week when I made a small comment on how simple her math homework looked, she asked me to prove it and I finished her homework for her (she ended up with all correct answers, I'd expect nothing less). Now she comes to me for help with math. It's stupidly easy, so I have no objections. Besides, I get more time to play around with her kunai and shuriken on the weekends when we hang out together, so it's a win-win situation.

"Just memorize your basic multiplication table and use the methods I use to multiply big numbers." Namely the _associative _and _distributive property of multiplication_, though I have no idea what that's called here so I just refer to them as methods I use.

Anyways. The first question is literally just 7 times 18. It's not hard. (To me, at least. I don't have many references to compare myself to other than TenTen, so I can't say for certain if this is "hard" or not.)

"Yeah, but I can't remember things like you." TenTen murmurs. It's just under her breath, but I catch the words. I frown. Hey. Don't bring that negativity to the table for learning.

"You'll figure it out eventually. Everyone does." I said. As long as you're properly educated. This stuff is easy, wait until you get the hard parts like calculus- er, geometry. Geometry is hard in this world, and calculus might not exist.

After watching TenTen continue to struggle, I ask her, "Do you want me to do it for you?"

She shakes her head no. "I want to learn to do it myself."

...alright then. (I'm proud of her, though I genuinely wouldn't mind if she had wanted me to do all her homework for her anyways.)

It's noon when we wrap up with her weekly homework (and it's stupid, a whole week to finish homework, but at this point I'm not sure I want to question it). TenTen shows me some of her other homework, and it's all standard stuff I've learnt from in the library.

The first year in the Academy really does look more boring and boring.

We return indoors after some target practice TenTen does with some of the boys, though most are off running around playing games.

* * *

I walk into the library and sit with some books. They're a variety of subjects from all the books I've read, and instead of rereading them I pretend to do so while listening in on the conversation between the librarian and some lady.

It's a pretty normal one, with the exception of the topic being discussed. Itachi Uchiha, prodigy of his generation, has mastered the Sharingan this month at the age of 8. Quite certain he doesn't start murdering his family until at least… 13, maybe. 14? What if it's 10? No, 10 seems too early. Average of 12. Could be earlier, or later, I wouldn't know. I thought he'd be older, didn't he look 17 in the anime or something?

(Except that would place Sasuke at the age of… 12-ish, and that's a bit too late in the timeline.)

I have yet to come up with a solution for the Uchiha Massacre. At this point, I'm not sure if I should just let it go or not.

But failure weighs something on my consciousness, and I really don't want to feel like shit for doing nothing, but what can I do that won't tip off my biggest secret? Not much, and nothing to help.

(What are you willing to sacrifice? Naomi or Hitori?)

I leave the library with more problems. Wonderful, isn't it.

Tomorrow is the first day of April. (It'd be April Fools Day if this had been back on Earth. Too bad, so sad, it's not.)

* * *

Naruto pulled a prank today on his class, just on the first of April. He's apparently in TenTen's classes.

_Hold up. Hold up, hold up._

_What. The. Fuck?_

* * *

Throughout the week, I haven't seen any people watching me (it's unsettling). Either they're getting better at hiding, they're using chakra to conceal themselves, or they finally understand the meaning of camouflage.

I don't do anything but jog around. I miss being able to do more physical activity, but I don't want to tip anyone off. (Be vigilant. Be wary. Someone has their eyes on you.)

* * *

Today in Sunday. After having pestered TenTen about why Naruto is in her classes both yesterday and today, she got annoyed at my interest him.

"I don't see why you'd care about him," she said. She looks rather… irritated. "Unless you want to be like him and get to the Academy a year ahead, but he's being sponsored by the Hokage and you're not."

Ah, there's the answer. Why sponsor him though? Is it because he's a… what's it called… jinchuriki? I read about it in one of the newer books at the library. Er, perhaps.

I shrug, and drop the topic of Naruto.

"Uh, sure," I said. "Hey, you finished all your homework, right?"

She nods and the topic is dropped as we move on to target practice. TenTen has new senbon today; she said she bought this second set on Wednesday after she had the first set taken by Naruto for his (April Fools!) porcupine trap prank.

I'm steadily growing concerned over how easily accessible dangerous objects are in this world.


	4. Somaesthesia

**Here it is. This chapter is brought to you by a stressed, (unintentionally, dammit) ill-mannered student who desperately needs to sleep more. No editing, we die like men.**

**When I said "expect later updates" I meant by like a week, not over half a year later. Hey, it's been 8 months! Welcome to 2020! Things have gone to shit.**

**What's happened since the last update? Too much that you don't care about and I don't want to bother you with that. I can complain about everything in a separate thing. It's a lot of trivial shit (like 90%), some major shit, and more shit because life is a huge fuck you.**

**...yeah. Sorry. Since I started this, I really do want to finish. It's a shame depression hit me like truck-kun when he isekai'd everyone.**

**We're nearing 100 favorites and have 150 follows. Woah. That's like… A lot of people. I'm sorry you're all here. Go spend your time more productively on some other thing that is actually somewhat consistent instead of whatever trash this is (just kidding, please stay, I have words today).**

**I hope you can settle for what's here now; half the usual content. I can't force myself to write anymore, not if I want to make an attempt at quality. Failing quality, granted, but I like to think I'm trying. Copied and pasted from my phone so rip the formatting, but eh, I'll fix it later, maybe.**

**Pass the bold text; it's the content you want.**

Chapter 4: Somaesthesia

* * *

_Autres temps, autres mœurs._

_French to English:_

_Other times, other customs._

* * *

TenTen sneezed.

"Bless you," I said. It was on instinct; you say it after someone sneezes because it's polite, and not being a widely regarded asshole means you're somewhat polite.

Less than a second later, my thoughts went from cover your mouth don't fucking sneeze on me to that was English did I really just-

"Bure tsuyu?" TenTen said. She had this confused look on her face, and my internal panic worsened. "What does that mean? And what does tsuyu have to do with anything?"

"It's, um," I said, like an intellectual, because 1, it's English, and 2, I don't exactly know the origin for the phrase (I didn't take AP English or any class related to language other than what I had to take, I can barely do alright with English grammar). "It's something. Don't worry about it."

Don't worry about it. Perfect excuse, works like a charm every time.

"But I AM worrying about it!" She whined.

…I stand corrected: works like a charm every time when adults are concerned.

"Just, uh. Don't do that then. Don't worry about it." I repeated myself. TenTen is quite clingy, and I'm not well suited for clingy people. (Remember why you're alone, NaHiotomiri.)

The topic fades as I question this kid on her classes. She said they're all boring, but the chakra related topics are interesting.

Today is a Sunday in April, and it's alright. Rain falls in no particular order, and May will arrive quickly as time passes.

I don't have much to do other than think about how Naruto is doing and what I plan on doing. Naruto is in TenTen's class. He's 5, like me, and has been skipping out on most of his classes, apparently.

Huh. Honestly, I don't think I really care all that much about him anymore. At least, not now. I'm going to go to the Academy, do my own thing, graduate as a shinobi, and learn to utilize chakra. Learn more about the world while I'm at it, in terms of technology and science. There's really no point in me trying to get involved, is there? It's my life. Why should I worry about the events that might occur in the near future?

Ouch, the guilt hurts. Damn, giving up on the Uchiha massacre and Naruto already? What else am I going to give up on?

Hey. Guilty side of me? Fuck you.

I'm still writing progress notes, though it's weekly now and with less details. There's really no point in writing them everyday other than to kill time and waste paper.

The key I wear as a necklace for the drawer under my bed got snatched by TenTen once during a game of… I'm not sure what it was. It was some sort of game though. Eh, yeah, I should hide it better. Maybe in my hair.

I still need a haircut. Sensei from the orphanage classes mentioned they're happening in early summer, so I'll probably get Hitori's hair chopped off by early July.

TenTen nudges me and I glance at her. She's holding up 4 senbon between her fingers, her hand balled into a fist.

"Hitori, look," she says, "I'm going to show you this new thing I read about from the Academy books-"

(I ended up with a bandage wrapped around my right shoulder and TenTen crying while apologizing to me. She doesn't know how to avoid moving objects when throwing things yet.)

She's just 6, it's not okay to hurt children, you're an adult so act mature, what would she-

* * *

I have recently been spending a lot of time indoors.

A few hours might not seem like much, but it is. Enough time for me to review all my progress notes, continue talking to myself in various languages(and the accent- oh my god the accent bothers me so much), that kind of thing.

There's the light manipulation I still want to do, chakra experiments, that thing about trying out different chakra natures. That kind of thing. One main uncompleted project which caught my attention was the animal and plant experimentation plans. I… should start getting more organized.

I'm going to start experimentation soon. Hopefully soon. Maybe soon. Look, I'm just going to start experiments eventually, okay? By the time I'm… if I'm generous, 9, I should have something set up. Experiments on rats. And fish. Plants, too.

I want to understand chakra. I want to understand how this energy, which is apparently so essential to human life here, is able to work. Naomi's world didn't have chakra.

I want to know chakra. What can I break it down into? I know it isn't energy. Energy is it's own thing. So what is chakra?

What can I tie chakra down to? Energy can be related back to mass and speed of light. Chakra is so called a mix of physical and spiritual energies, but what does that mean?

Nothing is impossible. At worst it's a one in near-infinity chance of reaching, but it is in reach, and that's what matters.

Work around the mishaps and find the answers.

It's for the sake of science, and I don't think anyone would miss a few rats or fish or plants going missing.

The issues here are how I'm going to get my hands on said organisms, having a place to experiment in, and materials for experimentation on them in the first place… Eh, I'll figure it out when I get there. For now I'll just start collecting and creating some sort of farm-like system to keep a supply or subjects ready for use.

...when I'm older. Children are seriously useless.

Also, my old handwriting is horrendous. I should write smaller.

As I re-lock my drawer, I remind myself on the things to focus on in the present. ANBU- Naruto- newspapers- data mining- caution caution CAUTION-

(There's no need to worry yet. Take your time.)

* * *

I saw a dog today while I was walking to the library.

A dog.

A DOG!!

Fluff! Dog! Doggy!

I wanna pet it. I really do.

Damn, I want a dog of my own. Why do I live in the orphanage? I want a dog - or a cat, a cat is fine too, but I want a fluffy animal friend - and I can't own a dog there.

I guess the dog was scared or something, because it ended up running away from me.

No, like, I saw the dog and the dog saw me, we made eye contact for half a second, and I kid you not the dog started sprinting in the other direction.

Inu-san… am I scary?

* * *

And on this fine day when the rain is falling and sensei decided to introduce us to instruments, I confirm, muscle memory is weird.

As far as I'm aware, muscle memory relies on the "memory" in your muscles, otherwise your body, to perform certain tasks. You gain muscle memory through repetition; for example, if you practice writing the Russian alphabet enough times, eventually you'll be able to memorize how to write it all without actively trying to figure out what each letter looks like. That's how my dad started teaching me how to write in Russian.

…The bike example is more effective, huh. Basically, learn to ride a bike in your childhood, and you'll never forget how to ride it. You can't "unlearn" something, that's not a thing.

Anyways. Muscle memory. It's established on active repetition of a certain action.

However, it appears some of Naomi's muscle memory carried on into Hitori's body, despite not having actively repeated these specific actions to get the muscle memory. So does muscle memory lie in dormant action instead of the body's "subconsciousness"? If that makes sense. It does, sort of, and not at the same time.

I, uh, don't really know how else to explain the drumming.

They're not drumsticks - at least not the kind I'm used to - in my hands, but they're still able to play the same song I want, even if it's off key by… a lot, probably. I don't have perfect pitch. Relative pitch isn't going to get you far in life.

Straying off track. So. Drumming. Two chopstick-like sticks, a snare drum (...should I even ask? Should I? Kishimoto, your stupid ass brought snare drums into this world and I'm pretty sure you don't even have wooden pencils here), and me.

I don't remember the exact notes to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", but I swear if someone gave me drumsticks and this snare drum I could play it back by memory in under 5 minutes, give or take.

Huh.

Huh.

Huh.

…I should return this snare drum.

I walk up to sensei, and he takes the materials back. Overall, today was another boring day in class. We didn't do anything but play around a bit.

At least I got to learn something out of this.

* * *

May arrives and with May comes more rain, more time indoors, and more time outdoors with my umbrella.

I wish rain boots were a thing. There's not enough water for it to be considered flooding right now, but there is enough water for large puddles to form and being forced to walk around them since I don't want to get my feet wet in muddy dirty how unsanitary water.

There's a little thunder at night, and sometimes during the morning. No actual lighting as far as I can tell.

Which reminds me. Today, I'm going to confirm whether or not I have access to a third element!

Hell yeah I wanna be the Avatar of this world!

Okay, I'll shut up now.

So, the thing about chakra elements, as far as I'm aware- it's not impossible to have all 5 elements, just. Really, really hard. Because of some bullshit that isn't exactly well explained.

Well this world can go suck my nonexistent dick because too bad I'm going to have something in all 5 elements.

Fire is already covered, even if I have no idea how to make a red-orange ball-shaped fire from my mouth. Water is limited to making small puddles from wet ground, but it's still something. Lightning I'll begin today, and if I can generate even sparks that'll be good enough for me.

Earth and wind I'll focus on later. I don't think I'll be making walls of dirt or tornados or anything like that until years down the road, but something is still progress and progress is good!

Optimism! Yay!

I used to be so fucked up as a child, after all that bullshit from middle school. Look at me grooming myself into being happier now.

Anyways, here I am in this array of wood and leaves potentially being spied on about to create lightning sparks. Is this a good idea? No. Am I still going to do it? My stupid brain says yes.

Lightning nature is extremely versatile. Well, all the elemental natures are versatile in some way, but lightning nature more so. It's less about lightning than it is about electromagnetic manipulation focusing on electricity. Electrons, probably.

And as anyone who ever passed a course in chemistry should be able to confirm, these electrons are fucking everywhere. Every single known element on the periodic table should have electrons. Except maybe some ions of hydrogen.

Applying that here- anyone who knows what the fuck they're doing can rip apart atoms for electrons (or gather atoms, I guess, and ensure they all become stable with a full shell of valence electrons) and make things go very messy.

Or use the electricity generated naturally by human cells and control people's movements like they're puppets. Go through the spinal cord and neurons. The precision for that is intense, but I'm sure it's possible.

It's a fundamental force of the universe, and-

…straying off topic again. I tend to do that a lot.

I hear the rumble of thunder overhead and sigh. Time to get started.

I still don't know what exactly I'm doing to get chakra out into manipulating the world around me, but I'll get around to it. TenTen says it's something you're supposed to feel for, but I can't ask her to try and help me on what it is to feel for exactly since she hasn't learned it yet.

It's me standing some distance away from the orphanage surrounded by trees, an umbrella in my left hand to shield me from the rain and with my right hand I'm going to try to make static electricity. It's probably the easiest and safest type of visible electric-related thing I can do right now. Fine, maybe not the easiest, but the one most widely acknowledged as safe is good enough for me. There's no way I'm going to be making lightning of all things anytime soon.

...I have no idea what to do. Damn. Uh, see, if I rub my positively charged hand against this bit of… is this plastic…? On the umbrella… handle…? I don't know what it's technically called, do I.

Well, if I rub my hand against some certain material, then I might be able to create some static from exchanging electrons. I probably won't though. I should've gone with wool. The issue is I'm pretty sure wool might not exist in this godforsaken village… I know sheep exist because they're mentioned in books, but I don't know if wool does.

I don't know why wool clothes don't exist here, but I don't have any access to wool anyways for this so life is kinda hard.

Ok. Rub hand against metal and hope that the person spying on me like the pedophile they're probably not isn't worried that I'm crazy.

After a few moments transfer hand to coat.

I definitely could do this indoors but I'm an idiot who didn't think this through, so. Haha.

Oooh, nope. No result.

I sigh. Maybe trying static electricity with my hair instead of hands later.

(It's when I'm the library that I remember static electricity works in dry environments, not humid ones. Oops.)

* * *

New library book came in today. It's about some of the recent short stories published the capital. They're all waxed in drama and romance and in general, seem pretty shit. There's a noticeable focus on character development and lack of plot.

And a special edition newspaper came in for the festival in a week. It's basically a huge advertisement.

I return to book to the other librarian - Eiji, I think is his name. I walk outside where the rain still falls, and sigh. The library is comforting, but there's nothing much left for me. All I do there is reread books I've read, pick up newspapers on Mondays, and steal paper and ink. Sometimes I draw, but not much of anything.

The world seems so big and so small to me, and sometimes I forget that there's life outside this village.

* * *

It's later in the day when I'm brush Hitori's hair and wonder what it would be like if it were an exotic shade of blonde, light and bright and cold. Naomi never cared much for her looks, but… her hair… Naomi's hair was pretty. It was rather short, but it was nice to look at. Naomi was pretty. And Hitori is a child, she might seem a bit cute on the outside but when Hitori grows up she'll be rather ugly compared Naomi, won't she?

I end up making static accidentally after my brushed hair touches the fur coat I'm wearing and I then touch the hair. I wince at the sudden shock before the implication catches up to me.

I'm trying to shoot electricity through my hair this time instead of my fingers, and as expected, nothing happens. I grit my teeth.

Try again.

...no results.

* * *

It's maybe late June when I figure out how to actually get my body to shoot out bits to electricity. I'm using the transformation jutsu to mimic Naomi's body, and sitting on a bunk bed with a roof far too low. I haven't made much progress over the past month, and not much has happened. TenTen is practicing a lot with target practice and she plays less with me as the classes get more "rigorous" for her. I see her with other girls sometimes, and have no need to approach her when it appears like she has new friends.

A win-win situation, really. She needs someone better than me in her life, and I generally like to be alone.

I really don't do much but talk to myself these days. It really just feels like months of self-induced solitary confinement, either that or I'm slowly turning depressed from all this lack of brain stimulation. Exercise is good for you - things like runner's high to get that euphoric feeling. A pity I can't get it because I still don't know if I'm being watched. My days are limited to walking around near trees, the library, and this orphanage and not much else.

(There are few things that comfort me now - this key hanging around my neck, this umbrella in my hand, and the information in my mind.)

So. Here I am, on this fine summer day, twisting around my hair with a slender finger and trying to enjoy life. The usual bullshit you do when time passes slowly and there's not much to do.

I comb my hair with my fingers and I distract myself from the heat outside by deciding to move to sit on the cooler floor. I'm wearing a shirt made from polyester - at least, it's polyester in this form. I stand and the cloth rubs against my skin-

An electrical shock runs through my body.

I end up falling on the floor, stumbling as my head shoots up then hits the bed frame of the top bunk and Naomi goes poof as Hitori returns.

I try to mimic the same sensation again - and it's pretty easy, actually. The effect here is more prominent, more sharp. I get the shock again and grin. I try it again and I can't see anything, but I know it works.

It's not generating any light like light bulbs do and it isn't making a huge sound like thunder does after lightning. Of course not- the static is sudden, and brief, whereas light bulbs have constant currents and lightning is much more powerful than what I'm doing.

I should write this down.

(Some seconds later one of the caretakers rushes into the room to ask about the sudden thud, and sees Hitori sprawled on the floor smiling. He slowly closes the door, put off by the strange girl before him.)

(Hitori is a strange phenomenon, but many in this world are strange, so he thinks nothing of it and continues back to the kitchen.)

* * *

I. GOT. MY. HAIR. CUT.

Fucking finally. It's been literally years.

It goes down to about the area where Naomi's hair went - around mid-chest. I'm now able to tell where my bangs are - wasn't able to before, due to the way it ended up parting - though they're cut at a similar length as the rest of my hair. My hair is still darkened (like the soot leftover from a fire, not desirable), but it's fine.

There is less hair and my head feel lighter and I feel freeing.

I tie it up with an elastic hair tie (like a rubber band, I think, but it's not rubber, so what and how-). I walk back to my room, vision no longer occupied with thin, stray strands of brown, and life is okay.

For one moment.

It goes to shit the next moment when I remember that in 3 months, I will be 5 years old, and in 5 more I will be in school. In the same class as the protagonist, as the star characters, as the future clan leaders.

A year ago, maybe two, this would have made me happy - the child-like glee Hitori possesses because what isn't there to like about this situation? There's so much to learn about chakra and this world! And Hitori, she thinks it's amazing.

But today, Naomi thinks, life is meant for tragedy for her and him and them and everyone, and she's messed up and so is this world and this life and she wants to laugh and cry so tired but I can't seem to sleep more.

And time is passing so slowly and so quickly and there's so much I want to do and due to these circumstances I can't do it.

Pfft. Ha. How… cute. Neiかdliわいいch。.

* * *

In August, I test myself on my ability to use different natured jutsu. I'm outside again, and today I said fuck it to the person keeping tabs on me.

(Honestly though, I might as well have resumed training again. What does it matter if I end up taken to be experimented on by some evil bastard? So long as I learn how to remove the backlash from physical pain then I'm good. No, not exactly good, more along the lines of I won't end up too fucked up.)

(And it's not like I can really do much now, I'm just wasting time.)

(He or she or they should already know that I train, right? So what does it matter?)

(What does anything matter? Does my life have meaning anymore? Do I have meaning anymore? Who is I?)

Fire is simple - though it takes a while to get that dry feeling in my mouth - and I burn a stick easily. I use what little water I could grab from the dirt (what water I could steal from these roots) and put out the fire. I shock myself again with electricity after having confirmed the fire is dead. And today, I'll begin learning to do stuff with wind.

Specifically, the kind of wind with enough speed to break things.

Nothing major yet, just a bit of bark.

I want to break it - not necessarily into pieces, more like… controlled? Like, in half. Make a hole, maybe, instead of breaking it. With just my breath.

In a typical occurrence, the bark would remain solitary (unless it's too light for that, in which case the bark is no good for this experiment). However, if I were to break - or blow a hole through it, dent it, whatever, then that would indicate I'm using some sort of unknown source of energy - chakra - to do said action.

Once more, I don't know what I'm looking for, but I'll get there eventually.

I grab a firm piece of bark from the selection lying scattered on the dirt. It's rough and a dark shade of brown, and makes a small crackling sound as I rip off all of the unwanted bits on the sides, wincing as one nearly leaves my finger with a splinter.

The bark is left on the ground, leaning against the trunk of a tree. I breathe in deeply, and exhale, then breathe again.

Break the bark-

Out comes a sudden burst of air-

-and the bark remains where it is.

...try again.

* * *

I did try again.

It didn't work.

* * *

Do I need to regulate the ratio of "wind" and "energy" to break this thing? I'd assume so, the issue is how.

There are several smaller problems with that. One, I don't know how to regulate my chakra, since I don't know how much is being used in the first place. For all other cases, I'd keep going with random amounts hoping that it works but it really doesn't do much until I hit the right amount.

It's me thinking "please fucking work" some thousand times and eventually getting it right, basically. Then trying to recreate the exact sensations - not by memory, because my memory really isn't THAT good - to be able to perform it again.

Two, I don't understand how to keep my breathing consistent to the degree it may need to be. Which, as you can probably tell, isn't ideal.

This ends up with changing amounts of "wind" and chakra. Two changing variables in an uncontrolled experiment. How nice.

I sigh, removing myself from the ground and patting off dirt from my pants.

The fire was easier because it was mainly me breaking chemical bonds in my mouth and then just having the heat - the amount of each component didn't particularly matter, as long as it was enough to light the hydrogen aflame. The water was me trying to "squeeze" or "pull" it from the ground, and all I had to do was take it up. Once more, the amount of energy doesn't matter, as long as the water reaches the surface.

Electricity relied on the movement of electrons, primarily using friction to do so. I'd replicate the static without friction by reimagining the feeling of the static, going mainly off sound and trying to recreate said imagine in my head. I'm not exactly certain on how the electrons are being moved in conjunction with the chakra, though I'd assume once again the amount of what doesn't matter here as long as it's enough to get the right feel.

With wind, I might need a consistent amount of air and chakra flow. Air has to hit a certain range, because too much air, if unconcentrated, will blow the bark down instead of breaking or cracking it and too little will do nothing. Even if concentrated it'll have to be controlled to a specific area so it doesn't randomly crack or break the bark. And of course too little air does nothing.

In the case of chakra, too little will mean the air doesn't have enough force to break the bark, and too much-

…I dunno, I guess it'd tire me out. It's not like using too much chakra will be something I face though. Maybe.

Anyways. I have to be able to control the direction and the amount of wind to form a hole, and not break the bark into pieces.

Does it matter how much wind relative to chakra I use as long as I still accomplish the goal I set out to achieve? Maybe not now, but when I'm out of breath, yeah.

I should go back inside. I'm covered in sweat so my clothes are clinging to my body, and my throat is parched. I want water.

Shit, I feel lightheaded. My stomach hurts.

I clench my tiny hands into tiny fists, ignoring the way my uncut nails stab into flesh. Grabbing my yellow umbrella which I've become far too attached to, I head back indoors.

* * *

Dinner is nice today. It's curry. There's a bit more meat than usual.

I miss life when I was able to make choices on my meals and buy my own food.

* * *

It's cold outside. Gripping the coat that hangs more like a bag than it clings to my body like a piece of cloth should, I breathe in the scent of wind.

My fingers - it's not like they hurt, but it's cold.

I go out for a run in the woods, leaving my yellow umbrella in my overly large pocket.

I trip and stumble a few times, but that's fine.

"Was für eine beschissene Zeit, draußen zu sein." Complaining doesn't help much - actually, it reinforces negativity - but ever since Naiomi became an adult she found that it eases a bit of the tension. Besides, as long as she got her shit together, what she did along the way was whatever.

* * *

I… have lost my yellow umbrella.

I realize this when I enter the library, sweat dripping down the back of my neck and fingers feeling warm yet outwardly so cold and feet aching.

(I need to get more done. There's only so much I can do in my head when I sleep.)

My pocket is empty. Shit.

I think I'm panicking. No, no. Stay calm. Stay collected. When was the last time I saw it?

I don't remember. Somewhere in the forest after I finished my run, did I still have it back then? Can't say. I don't remember.

I have lost it. Oh no.

It's fine, right? It's just an umbrella.

Just a normal, dirty, yellow umbrella.

I read the newspaper and can't seem to concentrate. Rereading lines and processing thoughts slower than usual, I find myself soon returning the paper and walking the short distance back to the orphanage.

It's too late in the day now to go back and search for it.

* * *

It's the first time I recall having such a vivid nightmare (in this life, though maybe that's a lie).

* * *

"Daddy? Who is that man in our home?"

A TV screen drones on, showing pictures and film and a news reporter. Something very tall is falling. People are screaming. Why are they screaming?

"Where's Mom? Daddy?"

"-an act of terrorism against our nation-"

"It's unbelievable, Sarah, look at this-"

"At 8:30 PM, the President-"

There are screams heard on the TV and two men, both wearing a mask and dressed in black, exit a room.

Faces are blurry.

"When is Mom coming back home?"

Hushed whispers between the three adults. When the strangers leave, a blurred face turns to mememe.

"мой вундеркинд," he says. There is something else he says, but I can't hear.

I can't see I can't hear I cant SEE FAlLinG DowN WHY CAN'T I SEE-

(Are you there?)

PaiN.

(The scars of the past leave their marks.)

* * *

I wake up in a cold sweat.

Oh. I think. Am I scared?

She watches the shadows slowly fade away from the window.

The night is quiet and peaceful and oh so lonely.

* * *

Naomi never finds the umbrella.

* * *

It hurts-

It HURTS-

IT HURTS-

WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH-

(Faces flash - so many faces)

("Was it love that tied the knot between stranger and-")

"Who are you?"

* * *

How many nights will it be before I finally get to sleep?

* * *

мой вундеркинд, he whispers, and why-

WhY arE You dOing tHIS TO Me-

"Fuck you."

I hate you. I hate you and you and her and him and-

I hate every single person on this fucking hellhole of a planet.

Fuck you all. Go to hell.

(smile.)

* * *

When the nightmares do end - and when did they stop coming? - I find often more times than not myself startled by how real they feel.

* * *

"Hitori's weird. I don't like her."

"Yeah, right? She's like, so gross and all."

"I heard from Miku that she goes outside in the forest to - to, run, or something."

"..."

"Aww, that sounds so lonely!! Pftt, ah, haha, can you imagine?"

"Running? Hitori? No way. She looks so weak!"

"Oh, but isn't she like, sick or something? Tsuna said she's being weirder, or whatever."

"..."

"Hey, TenTen? Aren't you going to say anything?"

* * *

Ah. Curry with no meat, for dinner.

Ha. Pfftt. Aww.

Therefore, you and me-

Hitori, huh?

Hi-to-ri.

* * *

(She wakes up one day, and like the previous times, tells herself fuck this, get up and go out and do some shit. Stop wasting time.)

(And like the so-called human she is, so irrational, she forces herself to rinse and repeat.)

(Stick to the schedule.)


End file.
